“Kendall is forcing ye tae go?”
“He won’t be forcing me.” Her shoulders slumped. “I will go willingly.”
The icy chill along Ethan’s spine expanded toward his heart.
“What?” He looked out over the drive of Thistle Muir before returning his gaze to her. “Why?” He heard the bafflement in his voice.
She stared, her lovely gray eyes admonishing him tostop being an eejit.
“I’ve been up all night, lass,” he said, “and I’m afeart my thinking is a wee bit sluggish. I don’t understand why ye be traveling willingly to visit Charswood.”
She continued to stare at him, unblinking.
No.
She couldn’t—
“Nae.” He shook his head, head rearing back in dismay, his accent slipping into the brogue of his youth. “Ye cannae still think tae entertain Charswood’s offer. To cling tae that harebrained pact we made weeks ago. We’ve moved beyond that. Ye love me. I love your fair self. Why would ye choose tae—”
“That is just it. I don’t know what to choose!”
“You choose me! You choose us!”
“How can I? Kendall will hurt—”
“Why would ye let that bastard of a brother of yours dictate our happiness? Let us fight him together. We arenae powerless, yourself and I.”
Allie made a scoffing noise. “Kendall is already threatening your publisher over the vaguepossibilitythat I may run off with you. Imagine his vitriol if we were to actually do it? He would never forgive me for such defiance. Like my father before him, he will plot something Machiavellian to ensure our destruction.”
“I say let him try! For yourself—for the sake of our life together—I would endure it.”
“But that is the point, Ethan!” She gestured wildly. “I don’t want to watch youendureKendall’s punishment for my sake. That is why I insisted on our pact in the first place. Because I am a realist and always will be. Kendall will never release my dowry to your care. Instead, the mighty Duke of Kendall will ruin your uncle. He will destroy Malcolm and his coos. He will demolish your own career. Neither you nor I have any skills to see ourselves employed. How will we live?”
A loud buzzing began in Ethan’s ears.
“We’ll find a way, lass. I could take a position at a university. We could immigrate to the United States and forge a life there. The options are legion. Yes, Kendall could perhaps hurt us financially, but I would deem any struggle worth it tae have you at my side. I know my brother would say the same,” he said, voice rising. “Butyouhave tae want to join me in battle. Where is the indomitable woman I know and love? Where is the woman who held my own gun to my chest on that Italian highway?Thatwoman would choose love, consequences be damned!”
“That woman is a survivor! She is afraid and untrusting and heart-sore. She survived losing her mother. She survived losing her twin. She would survive losing you, too!”
“Aye. I ken that. Your wee heart has been ill-used in the past. But dinnae punish me for others’ sins! Ye can trust me, lass. Be brave enough tae let me love ye. Choose us!”
“I have never lied to you, Ethan! I told you from the beginning this would only ever be a fleeting friendship.” She motioned to the space between them. “I have reminded you repeatedly of my wishes for the future.”
Ethan had to agree. She had been forthright in that regard.
He had simply hoped she would change her mind. He had believed he could persuade her otherwise.
“Aye, lass. Ye have.” He caught her gaze and held it. “Ye have told me over and over that ye wish for freedom. But I’m not so sure that is what ye truly want.”
She folded her arms, her wee jaw sticking out stubbornly. “Oh yes, please tell me what I wish for instead!”
“Belonging,” he retorted. “Ye dinnae want freedom. Ye want tae belong.”
“Belong?”
“Aye. As I see it, ye consider freedom a way tae buy yourself a place of your own. But what would ye be part of? A house? A fleet of servants? Ye dinnae need money to purchase the freedom ye feel in belonging. When ye belong, ye can spread your wings. Ye can fly high and know ye will always have a home waiting for ye. We could have that freedom together, yourself and I. We could belong tae each other, love and be loved in return. Make a family that would be ours alone. Kendall could try tae break us, but if we truly belong . . .thathe could never take.”
Allie stood in stunned silence. As if his words had ricocheted within her, knocking aside long-held assumptions.
