All she wanted was his friendship, his love, his heart. She wanted to know him in every sense, for him to trust her with the whole picture of his life.
I can do that, he thought.I can match her courage.
Love shouldn’t be frightening. It wasn’t a game between winner and loser.
It should simply . . . be.
Accepted. Appreciated. Comfortable.
Leah had given everything she had to their marriage.
But Fox had not. He had been too wrapped up in himself, too weary to understand that she needed his support in return.
And so, in her grief, Leah had withdrawn to nurse and protect her broken heart, like a turtle backing into its shell.
Because Fox was not a safe place. When her heart sought refuge, he had not been a warm, welcome home for her.
How the thought burned.
In the wake of Aileen’s death, he should have been Leah’s source of comfort, the haven where she could rest and find respite.
Instead, Fox had merely been one more weight, one more pain she had to balance.
“Papa!” Madeline’s high voice carried across the rooftop and nearly stopped what remained of Fox’s heart.
He spun to see his niece happily scrambling toward him, nimbly navigating the peaks and valleys of the roof like Mr. Dandy himself.
“You shouldn’t be up here, Madeline. It’s dangerous.” He caught her in his arms, sweeping her up and holding her tight.
“I missed you,” she giggled, burrowing her face into his neck and tucking her arms between them, giving her whole weight over to him. He breathed in her scent, the smell of wind and carefree child. “When is Mamma coming home?”
It was on the tip of his tongue to say,I don’t know. To repeat the words he told her every day.
But . . . waiting felt wrong.
“Soon,” he said instead.
Madeline froze and then slowly pulled back, looking up at him.
“Soon?” The hope in her tiny voice broke him.
“Very soon,” he promised.
The surety of it vibrated in his chest.
He wanted Leah back—her sensible voice in his ear, her warm body snuggled against his of an evening, her rich laughter as she played with Madeline.
But more importantly, he wanted her to know. To understand how deeply he loved her. To pledge his commitment to match her caring with the force of his own.
He wanted it all.
“Tomorrow,” he continued. “I’ll leave tomorrow morning, first thing, and beg Leah to come home.”
“That’s amarvelousidea, Papa.” Madeline cuddled back into him, secure in the safety of his arms.
Fox vowed in that moment that both his girls—Leah and Madeline—would always find safety and love in his arms, no matter what the future might bring.
Fox went tobed that night, head full of Leah.
