Fox had changed her.
Laverloch and Madeline had changed her.
She could no longer bury her needs under silence.
Leah wanted to be more than her husband’s bedmate and housekeeper.
She wanted the soul-deep closeness of a true marriage. One where they shared stories of their past and dreams for their future. One where there were no unnecessary secrets.
In short—she wanted him to trust her. To reach for her, just as she always reached for him.
“Those are letters from Susan,” Leah said.
It was not a question. She looked past Fox to the correspondence once again tidily bundled with a black ribbon atop his desk.
He stilled, turning to look at her. “You read them?”
Leah swallowed. If she wished Fox to be honest with her, she first needed to be honest with him. “Aye. I found them in a trunk in the south wing.”
He said nothing for a long moment, brows frowning. And then, “They were not yours to read.”
“Perhaps not, but I’m so desperate tae know yourself, I couldnae help it. Please talk tae me, Fox,” she whispered. “Tell me what you can. Help me understand what we are facing.”
He turned away from her and let out a harsh breath. “I swore an oath, Leah—”
“I ken that. I do.” She darted around him, a hand on his upper arm, forcing him to look at her once more. “But ye swore an oath tae me, too. To be loving and faithful. I want tae help, but I need tae know more. Surely there is more ye can share with me without breaking your oath.”
“Why? Why would you wish to hear such frightful tales?”
“Because they areyourtales! They are the stories that have formed ye, the pain that has carved your heart. I want tae share it, and in some way, perhaps ease your burden.” She traced the scar on his neck with a fingertip. “I know nothing about the Battle of Coorg, for example.”
“The Raja of Coorg rebelled against British rule, and we were sent to subdue the rebellion. We met in battle just outside the city. It was bloody. Men died.Inearly died.”
“But how were ye injured?”
He stepped away from her touch, putting the desk between them. “Truthfully, I have blocked much of that day from my memory. A saber strike caught me unawares, and I fainted from the pain. I came to in a field hospital, listening to the moans of the dying around me, certain I would be next.”
“But ye survived against all rational odds, and ye are standing here in front of me now. Why shouldnae we talk about it? Why will ye not discuss the circumstances surrounding Madeline’s birth and Susan’s death?”
“You want to hear that, too? Very well.” He folded his arms across his chest, hands clenched into tense fists. “I returned from Coorg—addicted to laudanum, battered, and barely whole—to find my sister a raving mad woman. She cackled when she saw me and tried to gouge out my eyes, as if thinking to finish what Coorg had begun. It took two servants to peel her off me.” He recited the events with a monotone spareness, but the white knuckles of his clenched hands betrayed him. “I cared for Susan and Madeline as best I could, but my sister escaped her nurse four months later. Her body was pulled from the Adyar River the next morning.”
A piece of Leah’s heart crumbled at his emotionless words.
“And yes,” he continued, voice sharpening, “had I not been so lost in my compulsion for opium, I might have saved her. Is that what you wish to know?”
His composure faltered at that, and an expression of what Leah could only describe as ‘bleak anguish’ flickered across his face.
“No,” she said. “I ask my questions only tae know ye. I have never wished tae judge ye.”
His jaw tightened and he turned away from her.
“Truly, Fox,” she pressed, skirting around the desk to face him once more. “And though I ken it must be difficult tae speak of the horrors in your past, every wee crumb helps me tae understand ye better. Gracious! I dinnae even know if ye had another wife afore mysel—”
“I haven’t been married before.” The words snapped out of him.
“But ye were betrothed to Miss Honoria Hampstead.”
“Yes. I was betrothed tothatwoman. And then she betrayed me.” He moved around her, stomping over to the window, hands clasped behind his back. “As thorough a betrayal as a man can suffer, I assure you.”
