Regardless, after a year or two, Eilidh had finally been able to subdue the horror of the events afterThe Minervasank. She had accepted the unknown weight of her missing year and moved on, skimming along the surface of life, never delving too deep into memory or emotion.
Anything to avoid stirring up the pain of the black terror.
And she had been doing well, particularly since meeting Simon.
Kind, gentle Simon.
Soothing,safeSimon.
Her hand reached for his letter on her bedside table.
Mother and I visited Sir Michael Allan and Lady Allan Monday last. They send their regards. Lady Allan inquired twice as to when you might return. I told her that no specific date had been set, but I do hope it will be soon. I miss the soothing sound of you reading to Mother and me of an evening. You always render the voices in such a way that brings the tale to life.
Eilidh wiped a tear from her cheek.
She wantedthis.
The simplicity and quiet of an uncomplicated relationship. One where she slipped in and out with ease, safe and secure.
No current of electric feeling. No bruised longing. No magnetic Scot teasing or prodding in order to know her better.
A future without terror lurking, waiting to pounce.
Simon accepted what Eilidh was willing to give and demanded nothing more.
Anything else—persistent questions, flirtatious innuendo, a scalding fingertip brushed along her cheek—
Eilidh stopped her thoughts right there, forcing a steadying breath in and out.
Yes, anything beyond genteel companionship was too difficult. It invited in a deluge of emotions that she could not control or understand.
Avoiding them was the only way forward. The only way to evenhavea future.
She had been a fool to evenattemptto remember—
A quiet knock sounded on her door.
She stared at the door handle from where she lay on the bed. Her entire body felt sore, her limbs too heavy to lift themselves.
“Eilidh,” Kieran’s voice was muffled but distinct.
Her heart sped up.
“Please, Eilidh. Open up. Let me see ye,mo chridhe.”
Mo chridhe.
My heart.
She swallowed.
His words challenged her, both physically and metaphorically.
She didn’t wish to see him.
She didn’t want to let him in. Not into her room. Not into her thoughts. Definitely not into her heart.
She wanted to be alone.
