Afraid that she would decide she was too young to become involved with him, that her father had been right to reject Kieran as a suitor for her.
Afraid that she would realize that she did not, in fact, love him as thoroughly as he loved her.
So very afraid that her gender would be exposed, no matter how carefully they all guarded her.
Terrified that he would be unable to protect her.
Though it was not illegal for a woman to work aboard a ship, impersonating her brother could have consequences. Cuthie would likely extract a pound of flesh from them all for such a deception.
“I’m not leaving ye,” she whispered, answering his thoughts.
Her fingers slid through his hair, sending a cascade of gooseflesh down his spine.
“I cannae protect ye here, not aboard ship.” He clasped her tighter against him. “We dock in Sydney tomorrow. We will hire a companion for ye and arrange passage back tae Scotland. Andrew has already said he will front the money.”
“Only if ye come with me.” She pulled back to press a row of kisses along his jaw, utterly scattering his wits.
“You’re trying to distract me with your wiles, lass.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and gently coaxed her to take a step back and put six inches of space between them.
She grinned and ran her palms over his chest, clearly pleased that her fingers had more freedom of movement. Her touch burned his skin.
He snagged her hands with his, intending to simply shackle them. But instead, found himself lifting them to his lips and pressing kisses to the callouses on her palms.
“Ye’ll be the death of me yet, Jamie,” he muttered.
She smiled, a beam from the flickering dark lantern catching the curves of her face. “Mmmm, the romantic things ye say. Woo me more, my noble knight.”
He grinned at her dry tone, pulling her back into his arms, trapping her hands against his chest. “I’m happy tae tell ye how fetching ye look in trousers, lass. Women would never wear dresses again, if I could help it.”
“Trousersareinfinitely more practical,” she agreed. “Have ye considered starting a petition? I am sure Lords—”
“No more distracting me.” He kissed her. “I am trying tae have a serious conversation.”
“No, ye are having a silly conversation. There is a decided difference.”
“Jamie—”
“I will hear no talk of us being parted. I love ye too well to bear it.”
“But the risk tae your person aboard ship . . . sailors can be savage brutes. I couldnae live with the guilt if something were tae happen—”
“What will happen?” She sighed and snuggled against him. “You are here. Our friends are here and not without significant power. Even if my gender is uncovered, I will be safe.”
Kieran held her for a long moment, trying to silence the worried voices in his mind that offered up an endless string of nightmarish scenarios.
Finally, he could take no more of the uncertainty.
“Marry me?” He whispered the question against her hair.
He felt more than heard her gasp.
“Pardon?” She pulled back, peering up at him, her silvery eyes wide in the soft light.
He pressed a kiss to her plump lips.
“Will ye marry me?” he repeated. “Become my wife. Allow me to give ye the protection of my name.”
He didn’t add that as his wife, she would have reason to be aboard even if Cuthie found out the truth.
