Alex realized he was, in all truth, deathly serious.
Why wasn’t this exquisite, clever, witty woman married?
“Must I be married in order to have worth?” She turned the question back on him. “Is my only value that of an accessory to some gentleman’s life?”
She did not hide the disappointed reproof in her tone.
He heard them . . . the words she did not say.
I thought you saw beyond my surface.
I thought you valued me as more than an ornament.
“My apologies. I should have been more clear.” He shot her a wry smile. “In my memory, you were betrothed the day of Master Freddie’s birth.”
He remembered that distinctly.
She paused at his words. They were notquitea question, Alex realized, but ringed with expectation of a reply nonetheless.
She turned and looked out the window. The snow had melted—it never lasted long in England—and now the world hung with a gray weariness, as if Mother Earth were too exhausted by endless winter to lift her head.
But even the tired light loved Lottie. It tripped down the gentle slope of her nose, across the fine pearl of her cheek.
Blast. The woman would turn him into a poet yet.
“Yes, I was betrothed,” she said, turning her head back to him. “Sometimes . . . you can know someone for years—be betrothed to them for months—and, yet, not really know them at all.”
Something hitched in Alex’s chest. “Familiarity is not the same thing as love.”
“No . . . it is very close to love, but one does not necessarily lead to the other.” She paused. “I wasfamiliarwith Theo—with his moods, his actions—but I realized too late that I did not understand him. He never shared his innermost self with me, and I never shared mine with him, mostly because he never asked. Instead, I took our comfortable companionship and labeled it love.”
“Ah. And why did ye break off your betrothal, if I may ask?”
“He was of the opinion that a wife must leave her own family for her husband’s. He wished me to cease all but the most necessary contact with my family.” She looked at the counterpane, picking at the fabric. “I refused to do so. Family is important for me, and I did not appreciate the binary nature of the choice Theo presented.”
“Aye, that was wise of ye, lass. No man who truly loved a woman would force her to make such a decision. Families jointogetherwhen a couple marries.”
“You understand.” She shot him a wan smile. “With hindsight, I realized that Theo liked the idea of me more than the reality. If I am being truthful, I think he found the weight of my love onerous—both my love for my family, as well as my love for him.”
“Love should always be viewed as the treasure it is.”
“Precisely.” Her jaw flexed and fire flashed in her blue eyes. “My family is not a weight to be tolerated. My love is not a nuisance to be borne.”
Alex frowned. “Doesnae Wollstonecraft say something similar? I cannae recall—”
“She does.” Lottie scooted up the bed and grabbed the copy ofA Vindicationoff the bedside table nearest her.
Instead of retreating to the foot of the bed, she leaned back on the pillows beside him.
It was a shocking breach of propriety.
But if she truly thought of him in the same brotherly way as Gabriel, then perhaps she thought nothing of it.
Alex, however, struggled to breathe.
Not that he wanted her to leave. He liked having her near . . . perhaps too much.
The scent of jasmine swirled around him, the heat of her body sending his thoughts tumbling and his heart to thumping.
