He couldn't care less, but if PDA was a deal-breaker for Jilly, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable.
He let his arms fall away. But this time, instead of taking his arm to lead him out of the office, she linked their hands. Her fingers slid between his in a way that shouldn't be unbearably sexy, but was. He held his cane loosely in his opposite hand.
His mind was reeling as they walked together to the parking lot. She'd been the one to push him away last time, but just now, when he'd been frozen, she was the one to initiate the kiss.
Had it simply been borne of relief? She'd been shaken, emotional as she left the doctor's office. Did her silence now mean she was embarrassed that she'd given in to her emotion? Was he going to get the friends speech all over again?
He didn't even know how to ask her. He was so out of practice at anything resembling a relationship. His knowledge was outdated, from high school when girls were more worried about clothes and grades than raising kids and making ends meet. What if he was reading this all wrong?
"This is me." She squeezed his hand, stopped walking. He realized they'd crossed the parking lot already.
"I think we need to do something to celebrate" His voice was so rough that he had to clear his throat.
"I have the perfect idea."
He was a little frightened by the glee in her voice, but he got in the car anyway.
"You're joking."Noah's expression was a mix of consternation and amusement that made Jilly want to laugh.
They were standing in the parking lot of the local big box store, which had a dwindling supply of fresh cut Christmas trees. “This is payback for the whole Aiden thing, right?"
She did laugh. "The kids are going to keep visiting Honey Bear. They should be able to see some decorations. Besides, you need a little more Christmas spirit."
He crossed his arms. "You say that like I'm Scrooge or something."
"Or something."
She tucked her hand in the crook of his elbow and tugged until he dropped his arm. She slid both hands down the length of his arm, possibly enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath her palms a little too much. All the way down to his wrist. She raised his hand and reached out so that his palm just brushed the balsam fir that they were standing in front of.
"Feel how soft it is? Doesn't it smell good?"
"All I can smell is exhaust." He wrinkled his nose. "And I don't know about soft. I’m considering how scratched up my arms are going to get when Honey climbs up this thing and has to be rescued."
She pretended like she hadn't thought about that and heaved an exaggerated sigh. "If you secure it to the wall, she won't be able to knock it over. We'll get some shatterproof ornaments."
"And when she electrocutes herself by chewing on the strand of lights? That would for sure put your kids in the Christmas spirit."
Stubborn man had a point.
When he lowered his hand, she captured it between both of hers, hanging onto him as if she were back in high school and he was the boy she was crushing on.
She didn't actually know what she was doing. She'd come out of the doctor's office elated that the scare had been for nothing. All her scans were clear, the blood work was good. Her doctor wasn't worried and wanted to see her again in six months. She still would never have a baby of her own, but maybe that grief was beginning to fade.
She'd been bubbling over with joy, and when Noah had embraced her, it had felt like the most natural thing in the world to reach up and kiss him.
Nothing had really changed for her. She still had issues with the way she looked, the way she was really only half of a woman. Maybe it was a delayed reaction to arguing with Iris the other night. Like when she'd been a teenager and her uncle had told her she couldn't rope in the upcoming rodeo, it had made roping the only thing that she wanted to do. Knee-jerk dating.
She might not know what she was doing, but she didn't want to let go of this fizzy feeling, like carbonated bubbles flowing through her veins. She didn't want to let go of the man.
"All right, all right." She tugged him away from the trees and moved toward the store entrance instead. "What I really brought you here for were some lights for the outside of your house."
He shot her a sideways look. "And who exactly is going to hang these lights?"
She affected an innocent look. "I'm sure Aiden could help you find someone to hang them."
His eyes narrowed.
She burst out in giggles. He was the one who'd started it by having his assistant call her in the first place. It served him right to get a taste of his own medicine.
