She noticed that his knee was bouncing. He couldn't sit still. Another announcement on the loudspeaker had him tensing up.
"Are you nervous or something?" she teased. She let her hand rest on his thigh.
He froze, his leg going still. Maybe he hadn't realized he was doing the nervous tic until she'd mentioned it. "I don't like hospitals."
How insensitive was she? She hadn't given one thought to the weeks he'd spent in a hospital bed, recovering from the surgery that hadn't been able to save his vision. He probably hated hospitals even more than she did.
"I'm sorry. You really don't have to stay."
She started to pull away, but his hand closed over hers, engulfing it completely.
"If you hold my hand,” he said, “it'll make everything better."
She took a deep breath, prepared to tell him off. She didn't need to explain why a relationship between them was a bad idea.
He beat her to it. "For once, can you save your argument for another time?"
She silently mimicked his words, but she didn't pull away. When she glanced sideways at him, she saw a smug smile playing on his lips.
Before she could react, a nurse in purple scrubs opened the door to the restricted hallway and called her name.
It was the excuse she needed to drop his hand. But, why did she feel so bereft when she stood? She glanced at the nurse and back at Noah where he sat, unmovable as a stone.
"I'll wait here," he said. "You can drive me home when you're done."
It took close to an hour,and Noah was bombarded with unpleasant memories the entire time he waited.
He'd been so worried, in such a rush to get to Jilly, that he hadn't even thought to stuff a pair of headphones into a pocket. If he had, he could've listened to music or one of his favorite podcasts or even had Aiden forward him emails to follow up on.
Instead, he had none of those options and too much time to think about Jilly.
He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was about her that drove him crazy.
Today, it wasn't crazy so much as genuine worry.
After Lindsey's visit, he'd imagined Jilly bleeding and lying alone in the emergency room. He might not need anyone around to be happy, but with Iris babysitting, he hadn't wanted Jilly to be alone.
He knew she didn't have much of a relationship with her dad. The old man had done some crappy things and had pretty much been run out of town after Iris had brought it all to light.
Jilly was determined to put on a brave face, but who was there for her? Who did she have in her life to be vulnerable with? He didn't have any answers, and he was pretty much jangling from nerves when he heard the cadence of her voice, muffled at first and then clear as she must've pushed through the door that separated the exam rooms from the waiting room. He heard her footsteps on the linoleum as she approached, and he stood, grateful to get out of that stupid, uncomfortable chair.
He let her guide him rather than relying on his cane. He could do it if he needed to, but he was hungry for her touch, even if it was only her fingertips resting on his forearm.
She didn't say anything as they walked down the hall and got on the elevator. Nothing when they crossed the lobby and emerged out into the mild winter sunshine. A few more steps, and then,
"This is me." Her words were clipped and almost sharp.
He tapped the back bumper of what must be her car with his cane.
"It's a minivan. There are probably candy wrappers and pretzel sticks and other junk, so don't expect it to be too clean." She sounded defensive or almost angry.
He grabbed her elbow before she could walk away.
"What's going on? Is everything okay?"
He felt a shudder go through her.
He felt the words before she opened her mouth to say them.
