“So much of the rest of the time, I have to pretend that you’re nothing but my prisoner,” Marcus says.“That, or we’re working hard, with Alaric around.I thought here, I might be able to show you how much I care about you.”
Marcus sits, not on the other couch, but next to me, close enough that I can feel his arm against mine.
It’s a strangely romantic gesture for a place that doesn’t feel that way at all.It’s a reminder that Marcus is capable of being sweet and gentle, generous and kind, as well as being a skilled politician.
We start to eat and drink, the wine hitting my system swiftly.Marcus’ presence beside me is comforting, but I can feel his eyes on me too.I know how much more he wants from me.He wants our relationship to go back to everything it was before.
It isn’t a surprise when he kisses me, and I can’t stop myself from melting into that kiss for a moment before I pull back.
“Don’t you want this?”he asks.
I hesitate, and he clearly catches that hesitation.
“I know, I know.Not now.Not until the fight against Selene is over.The city is the priority.But after that?You can’t deny that there are still plenty of feelings between us, Lyra.”
“There are,” I admit.It would be a lie to say anything else.
“And you know we would work so well together,” Marcus says.“One day soon, the city will emerge from this nightmare, and we’ll be able to rebuild.We could do that, together.We could be married at long last, and the two of us could be happy together, as the leading figures of the senate.”
I can almost see the dream he’s offering me, the two of us standing in the senate box together while some safer, less violent version of the games continues beneath us.Marcus will continue to play politics and deal with the worst factions of the city, while I provide a shining figure for the ordinary people.
He and Alaric are both trying to hold back while we fight this last battle for the city, but neither one can keep from pushing me just a little.
“We would,” I say.“But I’m still not making any decisions until all of this is done.”
“I understand,” Marcus says.He takes my hand.“I just want you to know that I love you, and I always have, no matter what it’s sometimes seemed like.Now, we should be getting back.You have a big fight in the morning.”
I do, one that I need to win if I’m going to keep progressing towards Selene, and if I’m going to survive at all.Because that’s the harsh reality of this: it might notmatterwho I want to be with if I’m killed in the next few days.I need to survive and succeed now, not just for the city, but because it’s the only way I’m going to get to be with the man I care about most.Whichever of them it is.
CHAPTER TEN
I pace the preparation area beneath the colosseum, listening to the sound of a bout taking place above me.I don’t watch it, though, wanting to stay focused on my upcoming contest.
Alaric is there, in the guise of an aging trainer.He looks at me with worry.
“You’re too nervous,” he says.
“Nerves before a fight are a good thing,” I point out.“The adrenaline will keep me sharp.”
“Not forthisfight,” Alaric insists.“Not with an opponent who uses fear as a weapon.”
“What do you suggest I do, then?”I ask.I don’t know how I’m meant to stop myself from being on edge when I need to fight for my life in just a few minutes.
“Sit,” Alaric says, pointing to a stone bench.“Take deep breaths.Calm yourself.”
I do what he says, but it doesn't seem like enough to overcome the tension of the battle I’ll need to fight soon.
“There’s so much riding on this, Alaric,” I say.
Alaric nods.“But that doesn’t matter right now.What matters is that it’s a fight you can win.You have the full powers of a beast whisperer.What does he have?Just a few illusions!Get out there and win this, Lyra.”
I can feel my confidence growing, so that when the guards come to bring me to the gate, I feel ready, not afraid.My trident and net feel light in my hands as I wait for Marcus to announce the fight.
“In this corner of the colosseum, we have a fighter who should need no introduction.A fan favorite.I give you Lyra!”
I walk out, waving to the crowd as they cheer me.For this contest, a long platform has been set up across the middle of the arena.It's broad, but there are spikes below, so that any battle here will be like fighting on a bridge.
“Fighting her will be a terror of foes, a man who hunted the enemies of the empire under Tiberius, and who wields fear itself.I give you Karubus.”
