“How are you going to do it?” I ask.
“However we can,” Alaric says, with a smile that seems like a real piece of him, despite his illusory features. “There’s something else we can do, too. We’re trying to help beast whisperers to leave the city quietly.”
Because Selene, or someone close to her, is trying to kill as many of those like me as they can. It’s another part of her plans. It feels as though there are so many pieces of it, all designed to come together in some way I don’t yet know.
“Are many going?” I ask him.
Alaric nods. “Some. Although not all. I believe there are those among them who may be persuaded to help you.”
“Help me?” I say. “How?”
“You learned a lot about your abilities from Lady Elara,” Alaric says. “But maybe there’s still more you should know.”
It’s an intriguing thought, but also a worrying one. Lady Elara taught me, but she also manipulated me. I don’t know whether another beast whisperer would do the same.
“Who are these beast whisperers?” I ask.
“No names, for now,” Alaric says. He puts a hand on my shoulder. “It’s just something to think about. If you decide to go forward with it, I’ll introduce you to whichever of them seems most suitable.”
I haveplentyof things to think about. Who is and isn’t controlled by Selene, what her plans are, where the beast whisperers fit into it all. I’m grateful to have Alaric by my side right now, and I’m surprised by how natural and comfortable it feels to be so close to him.
As for the rest of it, I don’t feel comfortable at all. I’m not sure where our relationship stands. My deep attraction to him is still there, along with a certainty that he’s trying to do the right thing. But can we ever be together again after we’ve hurt each other so many ways, and when Alaric is fighting from the shadows while I’m a part of the system he’s fighting against?
I don’t know where we stand with one another, but I hope at least we’ll be able to fight together to stop Selene and the other problems of the city. If we don’t, there might not be a Republic left at all.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
I don't know what to do about the problem of Selene. I sit in my rooms at the palace, contemplating the ways I might be able to stop her.
I try to work through potential plans. An obvious one is to try to prove which individuals are controlled by Selene, and then to try to undo what she's done to them. That would mean finding a psychomancer of our own, though, one powerful enough to overcome Selene’s efforts. Even if we could find such a person would we be able to trust them with the minds of the senators? The powerful mind mages I've met so far have all shared the same hunger to control others, the same willingness to do so for their own benefit. If we show such an individual that it's possible to gain control of so many of the senate, isn't there a danger that they'll simply pick up where Selene stops?
There are other problems with the plan, too. It won't be easy to find a psychomancer of that power, let alone persuade them to stand against Selene.
What other options do we have, though? Alaric and I have been working to identify those individuals affected by Selene’s magic, so would it be possible to sideline them until the senate can vote to do something to stop the former arch magistrate? Doing so would mean working around dozens of people, as well as persuading those who remain that there really is a threat from Selene. I'm not sure it's possible.
I look out from my room towards the colosseum. It's night now so the structure is lit by glowing lamps from below that render its contours in a shifting procession of colors. Is the answer there? Selene is already fighting in the colosseum, so is the answer to give her a match up she cannot survive? Wouldn't that solve all of our problems at once?
I laugh bitterly at the turn my thoughts are taking. I'm all too aware that it's probably the same way the emperor thought about me, probably a conversation he had with Selene. His time magic told him that a beast whisperer would bring about his fall, so he tried again and again to make sure I died on the sands. In doing so, he only pushed me to become stronger, and eventually precipitated the very downfall he was afraid of.
Would I risk doing the same with Selene? If I send more and more powerful people against her, do I create the conditions for her to become stronger, to gain more support with the people, and eventually to overthrow the Republic? Would it be playing into her hands?
My worries are about more than just those practicalities, though. Do I really want to be someone who simply has her enemies killed in the arena? I have stood against the violence of the games for so long, tried my best to make them safer. Am I really about to undo that now by trying to find someone who can kill Selene for me on the sands?
I don't know. It isn't something I want to do, but I also know how dangerous this situation will be, not just for me but for everyone I care about, if Selene continues to gain power. She might only have partial influence over some of the senators at the moment, but how long will it be before that translates into more?
I have no doubts about how she’ll use that power once she has it. She will be ruthless with it. She’ll destroy those who’ve opposed her, including me. If she wishes to restore the empire, Selene will probably seek to kill or exile those like Rowan, who are at the heart of the Republic's functioning. Alaric will be a target as well because his resistance movement will fight back against her. Even Marcus seems likely to stand up and speak out against a woman who he blames for her role in the destruction of his family and their fortune.
I'm still contemplating that when a knock comes on my door. Because this is the palace it's not unusual for people come to my rooms late at night. Sometimes it's servants bringing a message. Sometimes it's other senators, trying to persuade me before a vote the next day. I go to the door and throw it open.
Marcus is standing on the other side, and I stop, caught by surprise by his sudden appearance at my door. He's carrying a scroll, which he holds out to me without saying anything.
“What's this?” I ask him. This is all too mysterious for my liking.
“Read it first and then I'll explain,” he says.
I take the scroll, stepping back inside the room and allowing him to follow me. I hadn’t thought I’d be inviting him into my room anytime soon, especially not when Marcus carefully closes the door behind us. Just a few weeks ago it would have been normal to have him in my room at night, or, more likely, for me to be over at his villa, in his rooms. Now it feels strange, the two of us in the same space together. I can feel… not attraction exactly but more like the memory of it, as my body remembers all the times Marcus and I have spent together. All my old feelings for him rush to the surface. I can't deny that I care about him; it's just that I can't stand by and ignore the things he does.
“Please read the scroll,” Marcus says.
