I don't know, and there's no time to sort out the tangles of my romantic life.
“Are you sure you want to go through with this?”I ask Thalia.“I could play the part of the merchant and go alone.”
“I'm going,” Thalia says, in a firm tone.“And we'll have backup in case there's danger.Alaric will send a group of people to wait nearby.I'm sure if there's danger you can use an animal to send them a signal, and they'll come in if they hear anything going wrong.”
The presence of Alaric's people should be a reassurance, but mostly I associate them with chaos and disruption.I don't know if their presence is going to make me safer.But I get the feeling they will be there whether I want them or not.
I scoop up the disguise Thalia has provided, stowing it under my cloak and then heading back to the palace to sleep.Tomorrow, I will finally have a chance to infiltrate these death matches.I'm not going to squander it.
*
It's hard getting through the day because my thoughts are drawn to the night and what I'm going to do.My disguise is carefully hidden in my rooms, inside an old vase, so no servant will discover it.I forced myself to go to meetings on the fringes of the senate, discussing the details of potential trade with our neighbors.
Marcus is there, of course, because trade is dear to his heart.
“I'm confident that, despite the threats before from Arboria, we can persuade their queen to trade openly with us.”
“What do they have to offer us besides trees?”Senator Rebus asks.
“Don't underestimate the value of trees,” Marcus says.“Our shipyards need all the timber they can get.And they have many other goods to offer, rare herbs from the forests, the finest horses.”
“We need to be careful in dealing with them,” I say, remembering their emissary, Cassandra.“They respect strength and they think we’re weak.They were threatening to seize border villages if we didn't protect our own lands.”
“Which is why we've sent patrols out to those villages,” Marcus says.
The senate wasn't prepared to send them when Selene with abducting villagers, but the prospect of losing territory seems to have galvanized them.To me, that says something worrying about their priorities.Is territory really that much more important than people?
The meeting finally comes to a close, and I go to leave and head back to my chambers.Marcus catches my hand as I go, pulling me into a kiss, which is less common for him in public than in private.
“What was that for?”I ask him.
“Does there have to be a reason?”he counters.
“No, but with you, there usually is,” I say.
His expression tightens.“Maybe it's just because I care about you, Lyra.And… there's something I want to ask you.”
“What?”
“Not here,” he says.“This is something that's better if we're alone.”
We head back to my rooms, his hand still in mine.He stares at me as we walk as if I'm the loveliest thing he's ever seen.We get inside, and he looks nervous.
“What is it?”I demand.“What is it you're planning to ask me?”
He lifts my hand to his lips.“I wanted to ask if you would consider marrying me, Lyra.”
The shock of the question hit me like a punch, driving all thoughts from my head.It's too much, too suddenly, seeming to come out of nowhere.Marcus and I are together, and we care about one another, but he's given no sign of building up to this, no indication that this is where he's heading with me.
“What?”I say, my eyes wide.
“Marry me,” he says.“I love you, and I think you love me.”
Have we even uttered those words to one another?There's so much between us, but it feels as though that's a boundary we haven't crossed.
“And it makes sense,” Marcus says.“Two of the most powerful senators together?The former champion of the arena with the wealthiest merchant in the city?Already, people talk about us as if we're more important as a couple than we ever were apart.We could achieve so much here, Lyra.”
“Are you proposing a marriage or a political alliance?”I joke, because he seems to be proposing it in the same terms that he was suggesting a trade agreement earlier.
