“I will, Sam, I will.I’ll be gentle.”Nik gripped Sam’s hand.“Tell your laird bear that.”
“Bear laird,” Sam corrected.“I was going to call him laird bear, but he didn’t like that one.”
“Oh my God,” groaned Jurgen.“Nikky, he’s home.Let’s get your drunk butt to bed.”
Nik flapped a hand at his boyfriend.“I’m not done talking to ’im.”He turned back to Sam, pulling on his hand.“C’mon, sit with me.”
As they sat, Ian helping him aim himself in the right direction, there seemed to be some form of communication going on between Jurgen and Ian.It involved a lot of eye rolling.
Ian glared at Nik.“You have five minutes,” he said, then kissed Sam.“I’ll be right back, kiddo.”
“’Kay.”Sam nodded, but it overbalanced him and he fell back against the cushion.Jurgen snorted.
“Tell me all about what happened,” Nik said, petting his hand.
Sam tried, but somehow they ended up talking about the size of his nose.
“It’s not that big!”Nik exclaimed, waving his hand so vigorously he had to grab Jurgen’s knee to keep from falling off the couch.Jurgen sighed.
“Is too,” Sam pouted.“It’s freakishly big.It’s a beak!I got called Big Bird in high school.People were always asking me if Snuffleupagus was a top.”
“Tha’s weird.You’d think he’d be a bottom.”Nik frowned in confusion.
Sam shrugged.“I know.Thought so too.”
“Your hips are much smaller than Big Bird’s.”
Sam sniffed.“Thank you.”He sighed and slumped against the arm of the couch, feeling a bit off-kilter.
“So, Bert or Ernie?”Nik asked.
“Ernie for sure.Total top.”Sam threw his hand out for emphasis and knocked over the empty wine bottle.Empty bottles could be ignored.Jurgen picked it up.
“Definitely.”They nodded at each other in complete agreement for a few seconds.“They both have big noses, you know.And they found a forever kinda love.”Nik giggled, singing “forever kinda love.”Jurgen snorted.
Sam rolled his eyes.“They’repuppets.I,” he pointed at his chest for emphasis, “am not apuppet.”
He could see Nik fighting not to point out they were actually Muppets.Sam gave him a narrow-eyed look for moral support.After a few seconds of biting his lips, Nik managed, “I have a big nose.”
“But it looks good on you.Your nose has character!My nose is just big, and beaky.Like ...likeBeaker!”
Jurgen mumbled and shifted on his small piece of the couch.
Nik stared at Sam.“Who’s Beaker again?”
Ian walked in with an exasperated sigh.“C’mon, Sam,” he said, stopping in front of him.“Your nose is fine.I like it big.”Then he leaned forward and pulled Sam up from the couch.
Sam giggled.“Did you hear?He likes it big,” he whispered to Nik.
Jurgen snorted and let his head fall back on the cushion.
“Time for bed,” Ian said, picking Sam up and making his head swim.
“But wait!”Nik said.“I have to tell him what happened with Miller.”
“Tell him tomorrow,” Ian said, walking out of the room.
“Are you carrying me?”Sam peered into his face.
