“Yes.”
“Huh.”
Nik sighed into the silence.“I’m going to introduce him to suitable gay men.It’ll be sort of like a gay Big Brothers program.Shepherding him through the world of queerness until he can survive on his own.Until he can find someone else to shelter him.”
For a few seconds, Sam was speechless.“What, like you want to help him catch a husband?”How come Nik didn’t feel the need to helphimcatch a husband?
“No!Like I want to help him get a life.A gay life, maybe a little action.You know.”
Sam’s feathers unruffled.Ah.Nik had tried doing that for him.Not such a successful plan, all things considered.“Nik, do you remember when you introduced me to Marl—”
“Anyway,” Nik said loudly.Sam had to hold the phone away from his ear for a second.“I’m not getting a lot of support from myboyfriend.But I knew you would support me.”
He heard Jurgen’s voice indistinctly in the background, then Nik practically yelled in his ear, “I amnotforming up a branch of the Gay Scouts!”Then a slamming door.Then Nik giggling softly.“The big, dumb asshole.He’s so cute,” he whispered.“Do you think he’d give me a badge for woodcraft?”
“Are you in the closet again?”
“What?I’veneverbeen in the closet.”
Sam did his best to keep his voice calm and level.“Did you slam yourself into the hall closet in a huff and are you currently standing there talking on the phone to me?Again?”
There was a long pause.Nik cleared his throat.“Yes.”
Sam sighed and let it speak for him.Non-verbal communication often got his point across with Nik better than a thousand-word essay would.After he’d judged it effective—he could almost hear Nik squirm—he went on to his next point.“You know, this good deed stuff seems unlike you.”
“Being in love has made me a better person,” Nik snapped.“Are you in or not?”
Sam screwed up one eye, thinking it over.“I don’t know, what are the details of your scheme?”
“Well, myplanis to invite Miller to our housewarming party and introduce him to the single gay men on hand.”Nik and Jurgen had recently bought a house together after Nik had landed an adjunct position at Cindercone Community College.
Sam nodded slowly.He could probably mitigate more damage by being on scene and pretending to be on board.“Fine.I’ll help you.When’s our first scout meeting?”
“As soon as we can figure it out.I’ll come up this weekend, maybe.Jurgen can go off and have a beer-date with his cousin, and it’ll just be us girls.”
Sam didn’t tell Nik about Ian the Highlander.Instead, he let Nik distract himself—and Sam—with a discussion of plans for the housewarming/introduce-Miller-to-suitable-men party.It was just too embarrassing, and he felt a little too raw.But as his conversation with Nik wound down, the adrenaline crash hit him.
I asked a guy out.And I got shot down in flames.
After saying goodbye to Nik, Sam was forced to put his head between his knees and breathe evenly to keep from fainting.He clasped his hands behind his neck, feeling the bumps on his spine rub against his fingers and trying not to think about how big a freak he must have seemed to Ian the Highlander.
Sam was a dorky, skinny, pale, unmuscled kid who’d tried to hit on a guy so far out of his league that Ian couldn’t see Sam due to the curvature of the Earth.
Sam thought about not telling Nik at all, but in the end he bought a bottle of chardonnay and planned on confessing all when Nik came up for the weekend.It was the kind of humiliation that must be shared in person over fermented fruit.
Driving to Nik and Jurgen’s from the city, Ian tried to remember the last party he’d been to.It was the one his oldest brother’s wife had thrown for him to welcome him back into the bosom of his family when he’d gotten out of the hospital.He’d been so hopped up on pain meds he barely remembered it, and he could have done without the loving family act in the first place.
Tonight’s party would be a different thing altogether.Jurgen had invited him to stay, assuming Ian wouldn’t be in any shape to drive an hour and a half home afterward.
He nearly drove off the road when it hit him that he could get laid now.
I could fuck something other than my hand.
Couldn’t he?
In his ongoing effort to figure out his life since The Accident that had Changed Everything, he’d committed to not having casual sex.It’d been his idea, and so far it hadn’t been that hard.The last seven months had been all about physical therapy, rehab, and “working on” his psyche.The months before that had pretty much been about pain.
But now ...He had a new job, he was fully functional physically (he crossed himself and sent up a quick thought heavenward in thanks for that), and hefinallydidn’t have any physical limitations.Not even any pain.He’d played rugby the last two weeks.He could totally fuck some willing guy.He just needed the willing guy.
