Then, with as much strength as I can muster, I shove him away from me, turn on my heel, and stalk toward my bedroom.
It isn’t until I’m well out of Braxton’s sight, until I can’t feel his glare burning holes into the back of my neck anymore, that I unclench my fist and look down at the small key I snatched off of him. The key that will grant me access to his study.
24
Braxton
Howlongcansomeonestay submerged in ice-cold water until hypothermia becomes a concern? I’m testing these limits after having Azalea perched on my lap. She knew exactly what she was doing with every almost imperceptible wiggle of her hips.
She has no idea the level of self-control it took for me not to slam her down on my desk and claim her as mine when she had her hands all over me right before she shoved me away and stalked off. As soon as I couldn’t hear the click-clack of her heels on the floors, I knew I was either in for an incredibly cold bath or I was going to have to fuck my hand until my dick was raw.
Fucking my hand seems like the better option now, as I rise from the bath with chattering teeth. No matter how frigid I made the water temperature, I couldn’t stop thinking about everything I wished to do to Azalea in that damned dress. She has no idea what that dress even means to me, and somehow she chose it for tonight. The sick part of my mind wants to convince me that that means something, that it could be another clue to how this curse is changing, but the realistic side of me knows better. There wasno rhyme or reason to her choosing to wear that dress, and she has no idea the torment I endured having to stare at her in it all night.
Tonight went too far. She took things too far, or perhaps I did. It’s becoming blurred in my mind as I recall how her hands felt cascading along my body. The moment my circulation returns, my blood rushes south as my mind conjures up an image of me slowly removing each scrap of fabric from her body to worship it the way I know she wants me to. She can lie to herself all she wants, but I know how her body responds to me, just as I’ve made it abundantly clear how my body responds to her.
My jaw clenches as I replay the events from tonight. How could I be so reckless? I’ve never let my composure slip the way it did, and every time I slip up like that, it gives her one more piece of the puzzle she is frantically putting together.
My fingers rake through my hair as I blow out an exasperated breath. She was so desperate to get the best of me tonight. She’s never gone to such lengths to try and discover my secrets, and that realization makes me apprehensive about how much this curse may be finally changing her. That’s the last thing I wanted when I made this deal. I was prepared for it to change me. I knew I wouldn’t be the same man once we came out on the other side of this. I was prepared to suffer. But not her. Never her.
I groan as I rummage through my dresser drawers to grab something to wear to bed. My stress levels have already been high enough while I’ve been doing some research of my own on changing curses. I don’t know if Dianthus is the one changing the curse’s rules that she’s forced me to play by for so long, or if something is happening to her magic and it’s retroactively affecting this curse.
What I do know is that change is happening. I had my suspicions with some of the events happening around the castle, and now my confidence is growing with each passing day. Somany things are happening that I have not endured in far too long, and I need to know how I can use this to my benefit.
However, if I’m wrong and she’s changing the parameters on her own accord, that means I have to play my next few moves very carefully, because she could snap her fingers and take everything from me—more-so than she already has. My chest aches as I think about the love I lost. The love she took from me. What I wouldn’t do to get her back.
I physically shake those thoughts from my head. Wallowing in that pity is not going to get me what I need.
And right now, I’m wound too tight both from my concerns with this curse and from imagining where I could have taken things with Azalea tonight. As much as I hate to admit it, I know exactly what I need. A release.
It looks like I’m going to be fucking my hand tonight, anyway.
25
Azalea
Today’sthedaythatI’m breaking into Braxton’s study. I decided that almost immediately upon waking this morning when I got a bouquet of forget-me-nots with a note from Braxton on my bedside table.
We should talk.
- Braxton
I roll my eyes at his note, before shredding it in my hands and idly dropping the remnants in the waste basket under my desk.
It had been almost two weeks since the incident in his study. Of course, he realized almost instantly that his key for it was missing, but I put on my best performance in feigning stupidity. I knew he would never believe me if I tried to act innocent. Though he didn’t believe me either way, telling me that “playing dumb was beneath me” and searching my room anyway, regardless of how loud I shouted my protests. Thankfully, I’d already tucked the key into my bustier before he turned my room upside down. When my room came up empty, he, of course, didn’t apologize before moving on to search other rooms of the castle. I knew with his heightened awareness around the studyhaving to remain unlocked, I needed to be patient before making my move, and now the time has finally come.
I heard rumors that he called upon one of the servants who was a retired blacksmith to make him a new lock and key for the door. With the limited materials within the castle, it took longer than the precious prince would have liked to weld these new iron locks, but apparently, now, everything is ready to be switched over tonight. So, if I don’t act today, then that entire encounter that still makes my cheeks tinge with shame would have been for nothing.
If anything, Braxton’s paranoia about having his study unlocked only confirmed my suspicions that he’s hiding something in there. It also forced him to start a new routine; one that I have meticulously studied. Every morning, he does a perimeter check of the castle grounds before shutting himself in his study all day until supper. Then, after supper, he goes back to his study until he’s ready for bed, which is usually an egregiously late point in the night. I swear this man doesn’t sleep.
I think his patrolling the grounds has more to do with the non-wolf, wolf attack, though I still don’t understand his fixation on that, and I find he’s being unbelievably dramatic about all of it. But, lucky for me, this little patrol of his takes a minimum of three and a half hours every morning. The downside is that he practically starts it at dawn, which I think only further constitutes that what he is experiencing is nothing short of psychosis because who willingly gets up that early?
I was fully prepared to sacrifice my precious sleep in order to sneak into his study while he was patrolling, but I overheard him talking to Gravesley last night, telling him he would be doing a perimeter search after he finished his lunch today, since he figured he would be up late with the servant ensuring the new locks were installed. That means I’ll have at least three hours tosearch his study from top to bottom, and I didn’t even have to rise before the sun this morning to do it.
Currently, I’m absent-mindedly flipping the pages of the book in front of me while I wait for my signal to commence my snooping. I’m gliding my tongue across the pad of my pointer finger and readying it to turn another page when Rhoden comes barreling into the library. I bolt upright, tossing the book down on the table with careless ease. Doing her best to compose herself and look at least a little less suspicious than when she came hurtling into the quiet library, Rhoden tucks a few strands of her silky black hair behind her ear before casually waltzing over to the stack of books beside me on the table.
Her almond eyes bore into mine as she nods her head once before saying, “I believe I heard lunch is ready for you, Lady Azalea.”
I try not to cringe at the title. She truly is awful at acting natural. Pushing a huffed breath through my nose, I give her a tight smile and nod, knowing this is her way of telling me Braxton has officially left his study and is now patrolling the grounds.
