“Oh.”
“She wants to hear about….” He made a vague gesture. “Everything.”
Her breathing hitched.
“Yeah.”
“And you don’t want to tell her.”
“Right.”
“That sounds like you.”
He glanced at her. She was looking at him with such kindness that his throat closed up.
“Cole, you need to talk to her.”
“But I?—”
“I know it’s hard. I know you don’t want to.”
“Jordie, you don’t?—”
“I didn’t want to, either. I tried to convince Luis it was pointless.”
“You told him?”
“I did. And so should you.”
He shook his head. “It’s so ugly. I don’t want anybody to hear it, most of all her.”
“She’s not just anybody. She’s Mila, the one you’re supposed to be with, the one who will understand. She needs to know you, all of you, or it’ll never work.”
“That’s what she said.”
“That’s what Luis said, too.”
“When?”
“Back in September, when we were planning the wedding. He asked me to tell him everything. It was important to him, so I forced myself to do it.”
“And?”
“I’ve never felt so much relief in my life. It was important to me. Later he confessed that if I’d refused, he would have called off the wedding.”
“No, he wouldn’t. He loves you so much that he?—”
“Oh, I think he would have. Mila loves you very much, too. That’s why she’s asking this.”
Heart thumping, he met her gaze. “I’ll think about it.” He knew his sister’s story, and if he had a similar one….
But he didn’t. Even she didn’t know that. He couldn’t imagine unloading the truth on Mila and watching her face as she absorbed it. How could he ask the woman he loved to share his nightmare?
When the horses were cooled down, Jordie made him a deal. Since he loved driving the tractor and she didn’t much care for it, she’d take the horses back and unsaddle them while he raked the arena.
Consequently he had even more time to think. The task had a Zen quality, like a giant version of a tabletop rock garden. First he slowly raked down the middle. Then he started on the outside and drove in concentric ovals, creating a neat pattern of grooves in the sand.
As he drove, he came up with a partial solution to his problem. It wasn’t what Mila had asked for and he wasn’t sure he could do it. The idea gave him cold chills.
