“Did you decide to wash my back so you could investigate?”
“Not at first, but once I was there, yeah, I wanted to find out what was going on.”
He groaned. “I almost wish I’d….”
“Lied to me?”
“Yes!” He sucked in a breath. “No. I can’t lie to you.”
“What would you have said?”
“The same thing I’ve told anyone who happens to see my back for some reason. I crawled under a barbed wire fence to escape an angry bull.”
“Did you tell that to Jordan?”
“No. I don’t lie to my sister. Besides, it wouldn’t have worked. She’d have pestered me for details.”
“Good grief. You’ve been on guard for years.” And he’d let down his guard in the shower. She’d hang onto that tiny bit of success.
“Worth it.” He sighed. “My coping mechanisms might seem weird but they get me through.”
She could argue that point but listening was more important right now. “So you keep your shirt on and block out Christmas.” Which told her he’d been hit during the holidays.
“That’s about the size of it. I’ve ignored Christmas for so long it didn’t register as something I’d need to deal with when I moved here. I’ll keep working on it. Like right now, I’m not bothered by your jammies.”
“You’re okay with the red and green?”
“I am because I’m not focused on it. I’m focused on you. That’s how I build tolerance.”
“Tolerance?” Her mind rebelled and the word popped out. “Sorry. I just….”
“That’s not what you want to hear.”
“It’s not about me or what I want to hear.”
“It is about you. I’m playing for all the marbles. That means I need to get this Christmas thing under control.”
She wanted to shake him until his teeth rattled. And then rock him in her arms until he quit torturing himself and confided in someone, preferably her. Would he ever do that? “It sounds exhausting.”
“I’m used to it.”
Oh, she bet he was. “Just so you know, I’m not a fragile flower. None of us are after losing our dad.” Both her dads, actually. “That wasn’t a great movie, either.”
“I’m sure it wasn’t. Luis said he went quickly, but that’s its own kind of hell.”
“It was. Like I said, crappy movie, but at least we watched it together. That was huge.”
He gave her a crooked smile. “Trying to tell me something?”
“Subtle, huh?”
“No.”
“Bottom line, I’ll watch your movie with you. Anytime. Anywhere.”
“Appreciate the offer, but the theater’s closed.” He said it gently, but his jaw tightened.
Considering how many years he’d been committed to this path, she wasn’t surprised by his response. Disappointed, but not surprised.
