He glanced up. “I’m just sorry I’m not enthusiastic about something you enjoy.”
“I gather your folks weren’t big into it.”
“Not really.”
“Was it a religious thing?”
“No. It was… we didn’t have much money and so… it made them angry more than anything.”
“I can imagine that happening.”
Could she? A person who’d never experienced poverty?
Maybe she could see the doubt in his expression, because she quickly added to her comment. “I mean, sort of. I was lucky to end up in this family and I know it.” She hesitated. “What about Jordan?”
“She’s doing okay. She knows how much Luis cares about this holiday and now their baby news has added a special glow to everything. She’ll be fine.”
“You cushioned her from some of the disappointment, didn’t you?”
His breath caught. “I’m not sure what you?—”
“Hey, I’m the oldest, too. I was four when my biological dad died. I remember it and I remember worrying about how Luis and Zay were taking everything. When we came here I was like a mother hen. If Luis and Adam got into it, I was the one who broke up the fight until Luis begged me to stop babying him.”
“Yeah, Jordie told me to stop worrying about her, too. Said she could take care of herself, but I kept a watch on her, anyway.”
“You still do.”
“I guess.”
“So do I, although now that Luis has Jordan, I’m not really worried anymore.”
“Same here. Jordie’s gonna have a great life with Luis. He’s a good guy.”
“The best.” She let a moment of silence pass. “What I’m trying to say in a roundabout way, is that I get that Christmas doesn’t work for you, at least now. You may eventually change your mind, but I would never expect you to force yourself into anything or pretend to like it.”
“I appreciate that.”
“So I’ll go do my thing and we can pick up where we left off after it’s over.”
“All right.” But the upshot was he wouldn’t have her around in the two days leading up to Christmas Eve. He’d been unconsciously counting on that to help desensitize him.
“I do hope you’ll come to the family dinner on Christmas Eve, though.”
“You have a family dinner?” Anxiety curled in his stomach.
“We do. Then after the meal we walk down to the barn, assuming there’s not a blizzard. Oh, and we sing carols. We sing on the way down and keep it up when we go into the barn to give treats to the horses.”
“Fun.” Could he manage that? It was whacky enough that he might be able to, assuming he didn’t lose ground during her absence.
“It’ll be Sparky’s first Christmas, so he won’t know the routine, but the other ones do. When they hear us singing, they get excited. Treats and all that attention. They love it.”
“I’ll bet they do.”
“On this same topic, we should get going if we want to avoid the midday rush at the General Store.” She squeezed his hand and let go. “We… oh, wait. You don’t have to go.”
“But I want to.”
“Do you?” She met his gaze. “Now that I know more about your childhood, I’m thinking it wasn’t a bad hard-boiled egg and moldy bagel that upset your system yesterday.”
