As if he had any choice.He sat and glared at Mikey, instrument of his undoing.His thigh muscles throbbed, and the family jewels felt as if Mikey had kicked him dead center.“Some friend you are,” he grumbled at the horse.Mikey yawned, exposing big yellow teeth.“You might have warned me that an all-day ride would turn me into a eunuch.”
“Maybe this will help,” Freddy said.
He gazed up, bleary-eyed, at the opened flask she extended.“What is it, hemlock?”
“Whiskey.I always carry some in my saddlebag.You never know when it’ll come in handy.”
“Oh, yeah, for when you have to dig out a bullet after a battle with the rustlers, right?”he said sarcastically.
She pulled the flask away.“If you’re going to be like that?—”
“No, please.I’d like some.”He accepted the flask and took a swig in what he hoped was a manly fashion.The whiskey was strong, at least eighty proof, and he welcomed its punch.He started to hand the flask back to her but she waved it away.
“Keep it.I’ll fix us some dinner.”
“I suppose you have to go out and shoot it first, this being the Wild West and all.”
She stood eyeing him, her hands on her hips.“You do have a wisecracking streak in you, McGuinnes.”
“It’s either that or hysteria.I thought I’d wisecrack for a while.”
A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.“You told me you could ride.”
He straightened as best he could.“I can,” he said with as much dignity as he could muster.“For brief periods.”
She covered her mouth, where he suspected a smile had broken through.Then she coughed into her fist.“Have a few more pulls on that flask, and when you feel ready, take off your pants.”
“Excuse me?”
“So you can massage some Bag Balm into your thighs,” she said, barely swallowing a chuckle.
“Bag Balm?”
“Aren’t you feeling a bit—uh—chafed?”
“What if I am?”
“This is a lanolin-based product.We use it on the cows’ udders to keep them soft and?—”
“My God.”
Tears of laughter brimmed in her eyes.“Believe me, it will help.And some liniment for your feet and knees will keep you from being so stiff in the morning.”
His eyes narrowed as a suspicion worked its way through his pain-clouded brain.“How come you’re so well equipped for this emergency?”
“Well—”
“You knew this would happen, didn’t you?”
“I suspected it might.”
“Is this some sort of greenhorn ritual?”
Her smile faded.“Not exactly.This land tests people, and that’s something you should know up front.”
“You test people, too, don’t you?”
“Maybe I do.But I meant what I said about appreciating the True Love with a ride like this.If you can manage to turn around, you might understand what I was talking about.The only way to really see it is by coming up here on horseback.”
