He gasped, a hand to his chest. “Oh my god, so you’re fucking each other!”
“What—how did you even get there from nuclear energy generation?” I shot, my face hot.
“Nuclear energy. Atomic fusion. Little atoms making love, just like you two.”
I sighed, a hand to my forehead. “Oh my god. Okay, first of all, nuclear power generation isn’t done with fusion, it’s done with fission. Nuclear fusion happens in the sun and we don’t have a safe and reliable way to harness it for net-positive energy on earth yet.”
“How long have you two been fucking?”
“It’s been like a month, oh my god, stop asking about it.”
“Oh my god, so you’re in love.”
“No!” My face was so hot right now. I drank more eggnog-inspired rum. It didn’t help. “It’s—it’s just casual. Just physical. That would be kinda fast to be allI love youanyway.”
He put his hands over his mouth. “Ooh, so you’ve been counting the time until you can say it.”
“Oh my god, Sam. She’s not dating me! We’ve had that conversation already,” I said, falling off into an awkward mumble. “She refuses to date people seriously.”
He nodded, looking more serious now. “Kev was like that, too.”
“Yeah?” I hugged myself with my free hand, picking at threads of my knit sweater, suddenly feeling small. “What, um… what’d you do to win him over?”
“Told him to make a decision.”
“Oh. Yeah, that’s scary.”
He shrugged. “It was. But I respected him enough to make the choice he needed to choose, and I respected myself enough not to stay any longer if he couldn’t commit.”
“How long were you two… you know, before you officially got together?”
“Oh my god, girl, we were on and off for, like, six months while he tried to figure out what it meant about him. Learn from my mistakes and don’t wait that long. It wasawful.It’s a good thing he’s so cute now that I can overlook it.”
I shifted awkwardly. “I’m not doing anything like that today. Can you imagine ruining Christmas Day for her like that?”
He clapped a hand on my back. “Ugh, no way. C’mon, girl, I bet those horrible fucking tacos are gone now. Let’s go have a merry Christmas.”
They were, thank god. Victoria sheepishly admitted to having eaten mine, apologizing profusely, and I bit back my vomit long enough to reassure her I really didn’t mind. And as we all gathered around the fire, the better part of the extended family gathered, Victoria’s cousins’ kids opened presents while the grownups sat and made conversation, and I couldn’t take my eyes off Victoria the whole time, thinking about everything Sam had said. Everything Miss Jameson had said.
Nan had said basically the same things too, but, uh, I didn’t need to think about that.
And once night fell and we filtered out, Victoria walked closer to my side than she normally would. I kept cool despite ituntil we got back into the car, and she leaned across the center to rest her head on my shoulder.
“This was easier,” she whispered. “With you there.”
“The—getting to the car?”
“No, Bridget.”
“Oh. Right. Family—the whole family thing of seeing—” I cleared my throat, and I looked down at Victoria’s hand on the center console.I respected him enough to make the choice he needed to choose, and I respected myself enough not to stay any longer if he couldn’t commit.Right. Yeah. I slipped my hand into hers, and when she laced her fingers with mine and squeezed, I felt like my heart would explode. “I’m glad I could be there for it,” I whispered.
“Me too.” She turned, and she pulled me into a kiss—tender and sweet and adoring and absolutely not an initiation for sex, and it left me reeling. When she pulled away, her eyes were sparkling, and it made me want to scream. “Let’s get home.”
“Yeah… let’s.” I had another month to figure this out with her. I was going to die.
Chapter 17
Victoria
