“Oh, you’ve been curious? They’resopretty, right? If you want to book a trip and come over here, we could have a foursome. I’m always inviting Bridget, but she’s like,no, I’d be a third wheel,and I’m like,no, you’d be a fourth wheel, and fourth wheels are useful to balance things out!Either way, maybe you can both come and have fun with us. Does Bridget want to be a fifth wheel?”
“I’m not trying to fuck your girlfriends, Gina. I’m asking how you met.”
“Well, I met Cara online, but Evie and I were together even before—”
It worked well enough, managed to put her back on track, and I didn’t want to read into why it hung in my mind so much. Especially with her second girlfriend Cara, who she met after she’d already started sharing adult content online and had slow-burn fallen for each other, interspersed with forbidden longing that turned into plenty of sex that had, finally, turned into getting together.
Especially since it was only an hour after that Bridget came back into the apartment all bundled up in her big, cozy coat and knit scarf, and she said, “Hot chocolate at the Mountain View?”
“The café? It’s like an hour away.”
“I can drive us. I’m so cooped up, even I need to get out and get some air, winter snow be damned.”
I paused at the kitchen table where I’d been working, looking up at her, and I shut the laptop. “I thought you loved Christmas.”
She gestured at the Christmas tree across the room. “I am not a cold-weather girl. I set that thing up so I could shoot a sexy Christmas video that I thought I wouldn’t be able to shoot while you were here.”
“Oh…”
“I like warmth! Warm enough I can walk around without pants on without having to blast the heat, ideally, but you take what you can get.Anyway,” she said, leaning over the table towards me, eyes sparkling, and I found myself caught on them again—those big, shining blue eyes that fixed on me like I was the only thing in the world, and I felt my chest tighten. “Hot chocolate escape, or no? I’ve been releasing like a million things and I need a break and to celebrate them.”
I wasn’t sure what possessed me to say it, but I blurted, “Is this you trying to take me on a date?”
“Oh—um.” She frowned, retreating into herself a little. I wanted to take it back, but I… well, I’d come this far. “You don’t have to,” she said, trying for a light voice. “I just thought it’d be nice to celebrate and… I mean, you’ve been making a ton of progress and stuff too, so I thought it’d be nice to celebrate you too.”
My heart beat faster, chest tightening uncomfortably. “So you are asking me on a date.”
“No—it’s not that.” She shoved her hands in her coat pockets, hunching her shoulders, and she sighed, walking past me. “Sorry, I don’t want to make things weird. I can just—”
“Hey—Bridget.” I caught her, a hand on her arm, before she could slip through the doorway into her room. “Sorry, I’m not… I don’t want to be rude or anything, I’m just trying to figure out…” I couldn’t sort the thoughts in my head. I shook my head. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been in a weird mood. Can we go? I’ve been staring at the screen too long, and I’d love to get some fresh air.”
She looked at me cautiously, carefully, and she gave me a small smile. “Yeah? Hot chocolate on me.”
“No, on me. If you’re driving, it’s the least I can do.”
“Okay. Great.” She stood up a little taller, lighting up more. “I’ll let you have it this time.”
Chapter 15
Victoria
It was a long drive to Mountain View, but it was good company—I put music on, and I gave Bridget the breathless recap of all the work and applications I’d been doing recently, while she talked about her work too, which felt like it should have been a bit odd—me telling her about the web developers I’d been in contact with on freelance work scoping out big consultation projects while she told me abouterotic POV audio, you find a hypnotic track that makes you do anything you’re told,but I figured it was only strange if we made it strange. I just liked seeing her light up when she was passionate about something.
Mountain View was a cozy lodge and café far out of the way but well worth the drive—I’d been there a couple times with my family when I was younger, a beautiful cabin up in the mountains with the most stunning views of snow-blanketed hills and pine trees dressed in their white coats, mountains carvingmidnight-purple shapes under the night sky that was lush with stars this far out from civilization. I ordered hot chocolate for the two of us and sat by a big crackling fire, a table under a massive window that showed the light flurries blowing down from the roof, and as we made small talk and laughed about nothing, I ached with how badly I wanted to kiss her.
Couldn’t really do that unless I was planning on fucking her here and now, though.
Once the mugs of hot chocolate ran low and the night was deep, our conversation dwindled down to a loaded silence that felt like we were saying so much more than we would with words, and I surprised myself by putting a hand on her knee under the table. She smiled sweetly at me.
“I haven’t really done this kind of thing,” she said.
“Avowed Christmas hater, turns out.”
She laughed, putting her hand on top of mine and squeezing. “You know, child of the internet. I’ve never been one for taking someone in real life and just going on a random adventure like this. It’s… it’s nice,” she said softly. “Really nice. Thanks for coming with.”
“I haven’t really done this kind of thing with people in general since… my first couple years out of college. I feel like I’m getting to… decide again, I guess, what my life looks like.”
She was quiet when she said, “I think you’re making a pretty damn good one.”
