“You think I’m lying?”
She bit into her lower lip, trying to choose her words with care. “I think…I think you haven’t met the right person yet.”
Aaron’s brows drew together, as though he was trying to make sense of that. Before he could say anything, though, she pushed on, her heart finally bashing to life, as she got close to talking about Raf and her whole body went into overdrive.
“This obviously wasn’t planned,” she said, pressing her spare hand to her stomach. “And if I hadn’t fallen pregnant, I don’t know if I ever would have seen him again. Maybe he would have come back to the bar. Maybe I would have gone to him. I don’t know. But over the summer, I…” she hesitated, aware that she hadn’t said these words to anyone. She’d barely even allowed herself to admit them to herself. Yet they were bursting through her now, fierce and sharp, desperate to be spoken. “I fell in love,” she admitted, softening her features with a sympathetic expression. “Head over heels, all-consuming, mad, passionate, desperate love.” His eyes dropped lower, to the stones at their feet. A bee buzzed nearby, the droning sound barely penetrating the humming in Elodie’s mind, as she finally spoke the truth of her heart and felt the accompanying sense of liberation.
“It doesn’t mean I didn’t love you; only our love is so different, you know? We’re friends. The best of friends, who’ve grown up together and know each other’s lives and secrets and dreams and always will. It’s a wonderful, safe space; but it’s not the same.”
“You hardly know him,” Aaron whispered, so she could tell he was genuinely shocked by what she’d just said.
“I haven’t known him long,” she conceded. “But it hardly seems to matter. I have seen inside his soul, all the parts of it, and I love him.”
“I don’t understand,” he said, frowning, reaching for the bag with the biscuit, lifting it out and taking a huge bite. Crumbs fell onto his jeans-clad legs, and she felt an affectionate warmth spread through her. She really did miss Aaron’s friendship, and she hoped she could find a way to keep him in her life.
“What don’t you understand?”
Through the lavender bushes, across the street, she could see Raf’s driver had stepped out of the vehicle and was standing at the bonnet of the car, arms crossed over his chest as he looked across the street. Always watching, keeping her safe, because Raf had insisted on that. A frisson of warmth ran the length of her spine.
“You’re living here. He’s not. What’s going on?”
It was like having all the lights in the world switched off at the same time.
Something cloyed in her throat, grief and shock, because for the briefest moment, she’d fallen back into a sort of haze, remembering how she felt about Raf, and forgetting the complicating fact that he didn’t—and wouldn’t—love her back. Even when she knew he cared about her, she couldn’t tell if that was just because of the babies or not.
“Loving someone doesn’t always mean things are going to work out,” she said, carefully.
“What? Why not?”
“He doesn’t love me.” It was like a form of shock therapy to say that out loud.
“What? Bloody bullshit.”
Her smile was grief-stained. “I know. Who wouldn’t love me?” she responded sarcastically.
“What a pig.”
“No, no, Aaron, it’s just—you can’t make someone love you. He doesn’t feel that way about me, and it’s okay. I mean, it’s not okay.” A tear slid from one eye before she even realized how close she was to crying. “It doesn’t feel okay, but that’s not his fault. We were never meant to be about love, it just happened for me. And not for him.”
“You’re having his babies.”
“And I have no doubt he’ll love them with every piece of his heart,” she said confidently. She’d seen inside his soul, she knew it was capable of love. It was only his brain that was in the way, forcing it not to open up for anyone. The trauma of his childhood, the loss of his mother, the way his father became, and then…Marcia. She shivered as the spectre of the other woman appeared.
“Anyway,” she said, shaking her head. “It’s weird to talk about this, right? Tell me about your new job,” she offered.
But Aaron frowned. “It’s actually not that weird, Ellie. I just want you to be happy.”
And she smiled to herself, despite her grief, because there, in his sentence, was the reassurance she needed that Aaron would be okay. That she was right. He didn’t love her in the way he thought he did, or he would have found the conversation unbearable. He was going to be okay, and Elodie was beyond relieved to recognize that.
CHAPTER 20
“EMME,” RAF SAID WITH A frown, pulling the door open wider. “What are you doing here?” He glanced behind her. “Where’s Salvatore?”
“I’m meeting him around the corner—we’re going to that new French restaurant for dinner. Want to join us?”
“Dinner?” Raf repeated, stepping back and gesturing for her to come in. His sister-in-law had once been a most hated enemy, from the rival Valentino family. They’d grown up despising them, only circumstances had thrown Salvatore and Emme together, and just like Romeo and Juliet, it had almost been a plague on both their houses, as the families fought to keep them apart.
It had almost killed Salvatore—they’d learned their lesson. Emme was now a much-loved member of their family, all the more so for how good she clearly was for Salvatore.
