Her mouth parted at the calm manner of his speech.
“I’ve organized a credit card for you—there is no limit, please use it for anything you require. The trust documents will be ready in a week or so.”
Anger was making her skin flush. “I don’t want your damned money.”
He flinched then. “It’s appropriate.”
“It’s unnecessary.”
“You’re carrying two Santoros.”
She ground her teeth, hating that name then, hating the way it meant so much to so many people, when Elodie saw way beyond it, to the man, and the people, that were at its heart.
“I don’t give a shit.” She moved, standing up, flinching when he moved to be closer. “I’m pregnant with your children but I’m not your prisoner, I’m not yours to control. I get to say what I do in my life, and it’s not what you’re suggesting.”
His hands curled around her arms, offering support, but all she could do was think about how much she wanted to sway forward and press against him. She didn’t, though. She held herself rigid with the greatest force of effort.
“Then what do you suggest?” he asked, gently guiding her back to bed.
But she made a growling sound and shook out of his grip. She knew she’d been ordered to rest, but she felt so much better, so completely normal, that she took this one moment of freedom and rebellion and used it.
“If you no longer think we should live together, I’ll move out.”
“Where to?”
“That’s not your concern.”
“Don’t be so childish.”
She made a scoffing noise. “How dare you say that to me?”
“I can’t help it. You are acting ridiculously. I am trying to give you everything you want?—,”
Another scoffing noise. “You have no idea what I want.”
“You’ve made it very clear that’s not me.”
“How, exactly?” she demanded. “By spending every spare moment these last few weeks with you? By craving you, needing you, laughing with you, waking up and thinking of you, by putting my entire life on hold just to be close to you? You think I don’t want you, Raf? You think I don’t want you?”
Their eyes held, locked in a silent battle, and then his hands were moving to her face, cupping her cheeks, his features twisted in a mask of pained sympathy. “I think you might want more than I have to give, and I will never forgive myself if I hurt you, like I hurt her. I can’t do that again, Elodie. I will not lead you on, I will not be the reason you are miserable.”
She sucked in air, but it didn’t seem to reach her lungs. She collapsed onto the edge of the bed then, sitting down out of a fear that her legs would no longer hold her weight.
He was letting her go because he knew. He knew she loved him, and he didn’t love her back. Whether that was because he wouldn’t let himself, or didn’t want to, she couldn’t say, but it almost killed her, regardless.
All the fight had suddenly left her.
She pushed back the covers of the bed and slid beneath them, rolling onto her side and facing away from him, staring towards the elegant windows with their picture perfect view of the street.
“Okay, fine,” she whispered, her voice wet with unshed tears. “Have it your way.”
Noneof this was his way. None of it. He felt as though his life had randomly hurtled completely out of his control this pastmonth and he had no clue how to fix it. He had thought letting Elodie go, freeing her up to marry Aaron, or do whatever she wanted with her life, without factoring Raf into it, was the best thing for her, but hearing her brave, sad voice whisperhave it your wayhad made him feel as though he’d taken some crucial, irreparable misstep.
But he wasright.He was right to protect her, to stop her from hurting the way Marcia had hurt, and from the way she’d been hurt by Aaron. So, what was, for the moment, an almost unbearable sensation in the pit of his stomach, radiating through his entire torso, would surely fade, with each day that passed, and as Elodie stepped into the happiness she deserved. Surely the certainty that he’d done the right and noble thing, that he’d sacrificed his own happiness to ensure hers, was worth something?
Elodie barely methis eyes the next time they saw each other. Four days after he’d left their house, when Raul brought her to the obstetrics clinic, the difference between their last hospital and this was like day and night. He would even have preferred the first visit, when he’d brought her here to confirm the pregnancy, because at least then there’d been civility in amongst their treatment. Now? She was cold to the point of doing everything but saying she wished he wasn’t there.
He stood back as the obstetrician performed another more thorough scan and talked through the rest of the pregnancy, including the various delivery options and the complications that might arise closer to the end of term. He kept a respectful distance even when their babies’ hearts sounded in the room and Elodie’s eyes misted with tears. He wanted to go and grab her hand and lift it to his lips, pressing a kiss there and promising hewould move heaven and earth for his little family, but what right did he have?
