She would never resent this pregnancy, but at the same time, falling in love with Raf had been the stupidest thing she could have done. And she’d known that. From the beginning, she’d known she needed to be careful around him. He was just too much for someone like her to process. He’d overwhelmed her every sense, stormed her barriers, so she was defenseless, completely unable to guard against the way he made her feel, the things he made her want.
Things that were impossible, and somehow essential.
“How do you feel?”
He sounded cautious, as though his own feelings were not something he was allowing space.
Despite herself, Elodie’s lips lifted in a ghostly smile. “I guess…overwhelmed.” He grimaced slightly, so she hastened to add, “and relieved.”
His eyes hooked to hers as though he needed to see the truth of that expressed in their depths. As though he was seeking his own kind of reassurance.
“I was so worried,” he said, finally, and then, he reached out, putting a hand on her knee. “You looked so unwell.”
Elodie’s heart thumped hard into her ribs. Hope burst through her, but it was the hope of the foolish, because all his concerns were centred on the babies. Or, perhaps, on her, because he viewed her as his responsibility. Worrying about her did not equate to caring for her. Loving her.
But what if it did?
What if he was sitting there, looking so completely confounded, because he had fallen as much in love with her as she had with him, and he was trying to work out what to do about it? What if it would just take Elodie being brave to release them both from this prison?
But was she brave enough to do this? To throw the truth of her feelings out there and wait to see if he reciprocated, or ran a mile?
Only, he wouldn’t run a mile. No matter what, these babies indelibly linked them. Which meant she couldn’t just announce her feelings, or they’d both be living with the fallout, no matter what.
But she could tiptoe around the subject, she thought, reaching for another piece of cheese, barely noticing the satisfaction that crossed Raf’s face as she continued to eat.
Nor the relief that darkened his eyes when his attention dropped to her stomach.
“Raf, about earlier?—,”
Their eyes met and her insides trembled with nerves.
“In the car,” she continued, when he didn’t say anything.
A muscle jerked low in his jaw. “Forget about it.” His skin paled though, beneath his tan, as his brows drew close together. “I shouldn’t have suggested it. I shouldn’t have upset you.”
She reached out and put a hand on his, needing to dispel that guilt. “That’s not what caused this. You heard the doctor.”
“It can’t have helped.”
“Believe me, that was not the most upsetting conversation I had today.”
She hadn’t intended to say anything about Aaron, but the second the words slipped out, she realized she’d gone too far—that Raf wouldn’t let it drop unless he knew what she was referring to.
“Aaron called,” she blurted out, unable to meet his eyes.
“I see.” His voice, though, was stiff, giving very little away, except for a hint of something she suspected might have been disapproval. “To say…?”
She sucked in a breath and glanced at him, then wished she hadn’t. His face was almost expressionless. It was only something in the depths of his gaze that made her wonder if his feelings were involved at all in his response.
“It’s not important. I just wasn’t expecting to hear from him,” she mumbled, brushing it away.
“Is there a reason you don’t want to tell me?”
She swallowed past a lump in her throat, the turmoil of the day catching up with her.
“I—it’s not a big deal. He was calling to say…he’d made a mistake,” she finished unevenly.
“And he was referring to?”
