“Ten minutes,” she said, tilting her chin with both defiance and courage.
He wished he could tell her she didn’t need courage around him, that he would take care of her, but he doubted she’d believe him then and there. Not after what he’d just said, but particularly, not after everything she’d been through. As with Raf, trust didn’t come easily to Elodie.
“I’d been dating Marcia for a long time before we got married,” he said, stiffly though, because this was by far his least favourite subject. “Honestly, I never thought I’d get married. That’s a whole other story, but suffice it to say, it wasn’t on my radar, and I was honest about that from the beginning. We didn’t even live together, because I preferred to keep it casual. She was fine with that. I mean, we were a couple. We went on vacations, spent time together.”
Elodie’s features bore a mask of cool restraint, as though she was doing everything she could not to engage with his story.
He dragged a hand through his hair, making himself focus. “I guess she got tired of waiting for me to change my mind. We got married because she told me she was pregnant. Then, she lost the baby. Except, she’d never actually been pregnant.” The words rushed out of him, physically paining him to say. He heard Elodie’s gasp, but it didn’t permeate the fog of grief he felt. He angled his face away, looking at the staff as they finished setting up, without really seeing them. He couldn’t. His mind was elsewhere.
“I guess she thought she’d fall pregnant for real, once we were married, but it didn’t happen, hence the miscarriage. Thatbaby was real to me, Elodie.” He turned to face her, clenching his jaw. “The baby was as real to me as this one.” He swallowed as he shook his head. “I know that must sound stupid?—,”
“It really doesn’t,” she promised.
“After that, my family has been…protective of me. The current circumstance is, you must admit, enough of a reason to make them worry.”
“Yes,” she nodded quickly. “Oh, Raf, that’s awful.”
He ground his teeth together.
“I just wanted to get her out of my life, once I found out the truth. We divorced quickly; I paid her a lot in exchange for an uncontested divorce and a watertight confidentiality agreement.”
Elodie’s features shifted. “Was it about money, do you think?”
“No,” he said, grimacing. “She loved me. Every day we were together, without me proposing, was hurting her, and I didn’t see it. That’s the thing, Elodie. I am so angry with her for what she did, but I hurt her, too. I let her down.”
“There’s no excuse?—,”
“Isn’t there?”
Elodie’s lips parted. “Raf, you can’t take that on.”
“If she had told me how she felt, I would have ended it, and I think she knew that. She was trapped in a relationship that was going nowhere. She was desperate.”
“Even so, to lie about being pregnant…”
His gut twisted with remembered hurt. “It’s unforgivable,” he muttered. “But a part of me understands why she did it. I was also in the wrong, wouldn’t you agree?”
“You told her how you felt about marriage from the beginning.”
“And never asked her again how she felt. I just presumed the status quo was continuing to work, for both of us.”
Elodie surprised him then by moving closer, lifting one hand and cupping his cheek. Her touch was warm and unsatisfyingly light. He wanted to feel more of her. He wanted her to touch him properly.
“When my family says these things, they’re showing concern for me, and what happened with Marcia. It has nothing to do with you.”
She nodded slowly, but the sympathy in her eyes was tugging at something in his chest. Something he really didn’t like. Because Raf had pulled away fromeveryone,after his divorce. His brothers, cousins, Sofia, his aunt and uncle. Anyone who’d tried to talk to him, he’d shut them down. And he’d absolutely loathed their pity. But from Elodie, it felt like the first step to her understanding him, and that was part of their broader goal—to be able to parent effectively.
“I’ll sign whatever you need me to. I’m not interested in your money.”
He nearly swore. “I know that.” The words emerged sharper than he’d intended, but the last thing he wanted was for Elodie to think he was also painting her as some kind of gold digger. “If this had been about money, you would have played it completely differently.”
She bit into her lip, so his fingers itched with a desire to reach out and brush his thumb over her mouth.
“I’ve spent years working to support someone,” she said unevenly. “I’ve always worked, always earned my own way. That’s important to me.”
Something shifted inside of him then, like a chasm forming that he wondered if he’d ever be able to fill. He had the strangest sense of vulnerability for her. And that desire to protect was back, too. “What I said to my uncle, Elodie, that wasn’t about you needing to support yourself.”
“But I will,” she responded quickly, her chin tilting with that defiant certainty.
