Her smile slipped.
Not because she didn’t want to see him, but because it was all so heart-hurtingly hard.
‘I’ll see you next week.’ He kissed her cheek. ‘It’s been nice meeting you, Sienna.’
‘You too.’
Sienna sat very still, composing her fluttering nerves, until Aiden came to crouch beside her, his face wearing an expressionless mask.
‘Hey,’ she said, a little self-conscious and breathy.
‘Hey,’ he repeated. ‘I wanted to say goodbye.’
She glanced at him sharply then.
‘I’m going to hitch a ride with Blake and Astrid tonight, rather than leave in the morning.’
Sienna’s jaw dropped. ‘They’re going on their honeymoon.’
‘Yeah, but the boat’s taking them to Athens first. I’m going to stay there – not with them, obviously – then fly out in the morning.’
‘Oh.’
‘I’ve got negotiations, and stuff…’ He tapered off. ‘But that’s not why I’m leaving, and after last time, I’m going to be completely honest with you.’ He swallowed hard. ‘I just can’t be here with you. Not because I don’t want to be, but because it’s too hard. Being near you, loving you, knowing how much it’s never going to happen. I need to get away.’
‘I get it,’ she whispered, closing her eyes. ‘It’s how I’ve felt for years, but I could never get away from you. You were everywhere I looked. Every nook and cranny in Ashbury is the beginning and end of our love story. You’re everywhere, even when you’re nowhere.’ Her eyes glazed over. ‘I get it.’
‘This is so fucked up,’ he muttered, but stood, face resolute. ‘I’m sorry. If you don’t believe I love you, at least believe that. Please.’
Her mouth gaped. She nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘Okay.’ He reached down, as if to touch her shoulder, but pulled his hand away at the last second. She thought she heard him swear again. ‘I’ll see you—’ He broke off with a shake of his head. ‘Goodbye. Just… please take care of yourself.’
She nodded again.
He turned and walked away, and not ten seconds later, her three best friends in the whole world descended on Sienna and wrapped her in a huge hug. She didn’t need to be the only one taking care of herself. She had the girls, and she knew she always would.
21
Routine was good. Routine was important. Sienna leaned into it hard when she got back to Ashbury Falls and tried to pick up the threads of a life she’d been convinced, only eight or so days ago, she could absolutely never leave.
She buried herself in study, work, visitations with her dad when the prison permitted, spending time with Melanie, tolerating Cory. She did all the things that had meant so much to her before and tried to ignore the fact that so much of it seemed shallow now. Not seeing Melanie or her dad, but everything else.
Or not exactly shallow, perhaps monochromatic.
Dim.
Dull.
Hollow and hard.
She felt a thousand things and nothing. She felt burned and cold, all at once. Almost a full week after getting home, and halfway throughWhen Harry Met Sally, there was a knock on her door. For the briefest second, she imagined it might be Aiden and her heart went into total overdrive, but of course it wouldn’t be Aiden.
They’d said their goodbyes.
She’d made it clear she didn’t want to see him again.
And what a liar she’d been.
