Sienna’s cheeks flushed.
‘It was closure,’ she said finally. Quietly. ‘It was the goodbye we never got to have.’ A tear slid down her cheek. ‘It was an ending, only this time, we both knew it.’ She sobbed. ‘You guys, this is hard enough for me.’ She sobbed again. ‘I feel like I’ve been pulled in a thousand directions this week, and all I really want is to focus on you, honey. On your wedding. Your happiness. On you guys. But Aiden… it’s just…’ She cried properly now, and all three women came and wrapped her in a huge hug. She stood in the middle of them, feeling their love and support, knowing that even without finishing her sentence, they understood.
‘It was a goodbye,’ she finished, finally. ‘That’s all.’ And she really, really meant that. She had to. To contemplate anything else, to even let herself start to dream, to hope, to want or imagine more, was a path she wouldnevertravel again. Not for all the money in all the world. Aiden ‘Hockey God’ Carter had proved once before that he couldn’t be trusted with her heart and that was a lesson she’d never forget. She sniffed and sucked in a deep breath. ‘Now’ – she forced some sunshine into her voice – ‘can we please just forget this and focus on our stunning bride-to-be?’
Astrid stroked her back.
‘For now,’ Paige said, gently.
‘Thank you,’ Sienna whispered, choosing to ignore the implicit promise of that phrasing. That they wouldn’t let it go forever. It didn’t matter. Tomorrow, she’d be off this island and away from Aiden ‘No Future Here’ Carter for good, and she couldn’t freaking wait.
* * *
The day might have started with storm clouds but by mid-morning, when the make-up artist had finished and the hair wizards had arrived to work their magic, the sky had cleared and was once more a perfect shade of azure blue. Despite the whirlwind of activity happening around them, the four girls sat at the table and chatted like they didn’t have a care in the world. They laughed, and they snacked, and it was just such a heart-healing day after the upset of that morning that Sienna could almost –almost –forget what Aiden had told Astrid.
Almost, but not quite. So every now and again, while the others were talking, she found her mind drifting over those words, lifting them up and shifting them around in her mind, studying them like a geologist might a rare and fascinating rock. But no matter how many times and in how many different ways she examined them, her feelings didn’t change. Her anger didn’t recede.
Besides, what did his claim to love her actually mean? He’d said the same thing when they were teenagers, and he’d still walked away from her. Had he really changed that much? Would she ever be able to let go of that hurt and trust him? And how could he even ask that of her? He might not have known, when he came to this island, how much his rejection had cut her. But he did know now. It wasn’t fair of him to expect her to just set that aside and take some blind leap of faith towards whatever future he promised.
They were there to celebrate everlasting love, the promise of ‘forever’ that Astrid and Blake were going to make to one another, but the truth was, Sienna didn’t know if she was capable of believing in it. Not for herself, anyway.
Astrid had chosen the most classically ‘Astrid’ wedding outfit imaginable. A stunning silky dress that was cut on the bias, so even though it sort of seemed to float to her ankles, it still hugged her hips and slim waist like a second skin. The dress dipped right down in the back to reveal delicate lace detailing on either side, satin buttons cresting over her backside. Astrid being Astrid, she’d teamed it with a boho plait, and a pair of cowboy boots, yeehaw. Not to mention a smile that just wouldn’t quit.
There was not a single hint of nervousness for this bride.
Not an ounce.
She was vibrating with giddy joy, like every moment she’d lived on earth had all been building inexorably to this one moment.
And yet, as they moved out of the suite – assured that all guests had now assembled on the beach, ready for the wedding – Astrid took a second to grab Sienna’s hand and pull her back. Astrid the Bride-Chilla to end all Bride-Chillas had also been incredibly kind to the bridesmaids, letting them choose dresses in whatever style they wanted, so long as they were somewhere in the ballpark of the same palette.
Sienna had chosen a pale yellow – one of her favourite colours – and in terms of style, the dress was classic prom. Appropriate, given that she’d never been. It was fitted in the bodice, but flared at the waist, and fell to the knees. Her own hair had been pulled back into a low bun at the nape of her neck, and the make-up had been kept ‘sun kissed and minimalist’, or so the make-up artist promised.
‘Love, just one sec, okay?’
Sienna had a sense of trepidation. ‘Yeah?’
‘Okay, I promise, this is the last thing I’ll say about this today.’
Sienna craned her head, to see where the others had gone. She had a sinking feeling they’d known Astrid was going to bring this up again, and had made themselves scarce.
‘Honey, your groom awaits,’ Sienna said, aiming for humour.
‘Trust me, he’ll keep waiting,’ Astrid said with serene assuredness.
‘This is your wedding day,’ Sienna groaned.
‘Yes, it’s my wedding day,’ Astrid agreed. ‘But it’s not the most important day of my life.’
Sienna’s eyes narrowed.
‘Not even close. I love Blake, and he loves me. Regardless of what happens today, we’re us, starting a family, a couple who loves each other very deeply. This is just… frosting. A bit of something extra to put on top of what we already have. Honestly, this isn’t the most important day of my life but I truly feel like it might be yours. If you don’t talk to Aiden, if you just let this go, if you keep fighting what I’m pretty sure you feel for him… I don’t know if you’ll get over it.’
Sienna closed her eyes, willing herselfnotto cry. Not to ruin the spectacular job the make-up artist had done.
‘All I’ll say,’ Sienna whispered, ‘is that if you really thought he loved me, it wouldn’t matter whether I spoke to him today or not. Because love isn’t transient. It isn’t changeable. And it isn’t temporary. You’re describing a flimsy feeling, that will just go away if I don’t say “yes” to him, right here and now. That’s not love.’ She forced a smile but it hurt. Oh, how it hurt. ‘It’s not love like you and Blake have, and it’s not a love that’s good enough for me.’
Astrid’s eyes widened. ‘I didn’t mean?—’
