Not missing her.
Not wondering if he’d made a mistake.
But focusing on his sparkly, wondrously bright future. Bastard.
It’s better if we stick to a clean break, Sienna. Don’t call me again.
BecauseAd Meliora.
She ground her jaw, adopting the phrase, co-opting it to her own purposes. Aiden ‘Jackass’ Carter was her past. A horrible part of her past. But after this week, she could put the ghost of him to bed and move on with her own brighter future. Sure, her dad was in prison and she was still stuck in Ashbury Falls – no way would she leave Melanie the same way Aiden left her. But finally, she’d be free of the grasp Aiden had held on her all these years. Finally, she’d be her own person again. She couldn’t wait.
10
It wasn’t like he was in the midst of the best sleep of his life or anything. How the hell could he sleep when Sienna had permeated his dreams like nothing else? She’d been taking the puck from the minute she’d arrived, and he had no freaking idea how to get it back.
Kissing her had been certifiable.
At least before the kiss he’d been able to pretend he wasn’tthatattracted to her any more.
Or, in his more honest moments of self-reflection, that at least she didn’t feel that way about him.
But the kiss had lodged her right in the very middle of his mind, so he’d been lying in bed, tossing and turning for hours, trying to get her the hell out of his head. The problem was, every time he got close to drifting off, bam. There she was. Sexy. Smiling. So desirable he wanted to bust something.
So dangerous.
Because this wasn’t just some horny puck bunny hitting him up for a one-night stand, butSienna.Sienna Aria Mastrangelo. The one woman he’d everfeltanything for. The one woman who’d made him actually think maybe he could reach out with both hands and grab the whole big happily ever after fantasy Hollywood movies made you think were a guarantee in life.
But Aiden knew otherwise.
Aiden knew what love did to people. He’d seen the way his dad loved his mom. And the way his mom loved his dad, so much she wouldn’t leave him, even when they were all in danger, every single damned day they’d stayed.
Love had been a nightmare in Aiden’s house.
It was terrifying how many people signed on the dotted line for a future that could easily include that kind of bullshit.
Even Blake.
He made a rough groaning sound, bashing the pillow beside him with one big fist, staring up at the ceiling in the quiet of his room, with only the distant hum of rolling waves through the open French doors for company.
And then, a chirrup.
A cricket? But on acid. High-pitched and droning, it went on for about ten seconds, then stopped, so his mind was free to churn once more.
Blake and Astrid… they were different, he thought, flopping onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, frowning a little, because Blake having fallen in love, and with someone who accepted him so completely as he was, who loved every part of him, who forced Blake to be the best version of himself just by sharing her life with him, had started to puncture the tiniest of holes in the worldview Aiden had formed as a kid.
Because Blake and Astrid were happy. Not like their mom and dad in the peaceful moments, but truly happy. They loved each other, and more than that, they respected one another. Their relationship was… it was good.
It was real good.
But it didn’t follow that he could have that with anyone. It didn’t follow that the risks were worth it. Especially not if the risk was becoming like his father, and ever hurting Sienna.
So he really needed to not kiss her again. And definitely to stop thinking about kissing her. As for the very X-rated dreams his subconscious kept trying to force him to endure, well, that was why he couldn’t sleep.
Because if kissing her was bad, and thinking about kissing her was worse, then dreaming about having sex with her was the pits.
Even when it really, really wasn’t.
He rolled onto his side.Chirrrrupppp.
