Sienna’s lips formed a perfect circle. ‘Okay…’ She frowned, still not sure how this connected to her in the slightest. ‘But that was a long time ago?—’
‘No, Sienna, when I say I hit him, I mean I hit him. Hard. And I didn’t stop, not until I was sure he wasn’t getting up.’ He shook his head. ‘I wasn’t thinking. I was just… so angry. So sick of living in fear.’
Sienna shook her head a little, sympathy washing over her. ‘You’re a good guy, Blake. That was just one night, one act. And your dad survived.’
He ground his jaw. ‘I almost ruined everything.’
She frowned. With their father?
‘Our college scholarships – everything. The whole fresh start we’d been working towards since we were boys, the chance to get out of here. I put it all in jeopardy…’ he choked out.
She saw Astrid squeeze his hand again.
‘The cops drew up charges. I would have gone away, Sienna.’
She hated the thought of that. Blake wasn’t a criminal. He wasn’t violent. He had been reacting to an awful circumstance, protecting a woman who’d suffered too much at the hands of a violent, sadistic asshole.
‘But Aiden fixed it,’ Astrid said, her eyes boring into Sienna’s.
Sienna’s heart did a strange twist.
‘Aiden made it all go away. He came to a deal with the college team, and our coach negotiated with the cops so I could plead down to a misdemeanour. But we had to leave town.’
Sienna’s heart thumped against her ribs.
‘We had to get out of here. That was the deal. Aiden saved me from going to prison, but he did it by leaving you, Ashbury, everything behind.’ He took a step towards her; Astrid followed. ‘Everyone calls him Ice, like he’s too cold to feel a damned thing. I’m probably the only person on earth who knows the truth. He froze his feelings the night he left you, because without you in his life, he had no need for them any more.’
‘Blake, please,’ she said, her voice wavering with the force of her emotions. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to know this, it was that she couldn’t quite work out how to process it.
‘I just need you to understand that for ten years, I’ve lived with the guilt of this. I kept hoping he’d move on, fall in love, meet someone else. Be less Ice. Be more like he used to be. Be alive like he was when he was with you. But the first time I’ve seen that version of my brother in a long time was on the island, with you. It’s always been you, Sienna. And if I hadn’t been such a monumental hothead, everything would have been different.’
‘You can’t blame yourself,’ Astrid whispered.
‘But I do.’
‘You shouldn’t,’ Sienna said, holding onto her emotions with difficulty. ‘Aiden did what he needed to get you out of town, out of trouble, but he still chose to cut me out of his life.’
‘He spent all our lives protecting me. That’s a hard habit to break.’
Her heart twisted, because Blake wasn’t wrong. Confusion seeped into her.
‘We agreed not to tell anyone about this,’ Blake said. ‘Our coach advised us not to stir it up, initially. But you had to know…’
‘Yeah,’ she whispered, knowing that was true, too. She’d deserved to know back then. Maybe if she had, his leaving wouldn’t have stung quite as much.
But maybe she’d have fought to keep him in town. Maybe she’d have convinced him to stay. Or take her with him.
And then she remembered something else he’d said, about how he’d needed to focus everything on the game, and that she somehow threatened that.
‘I think he had other reasons for leaving me, Blake. You need to let any guilt you’re carrying go. Aiden made his decision?—’
‘I made it for him.’
She sighed. ‘He’s a big boy?—’
‘He wasn’t, though. He was a scared kid, just like I was. He ran away. From our father, from the shitstorm I’d created, and from the kind of love that was way too much for him to know what to do with. If you’d seen him like I’ve seen him these last ten years, you’d know I’m right.’
Her heart dropped down to her toes. ‘Maybe,’ she said, because she couldn’t have this conversation any more.
