I walk past a garden flag that says “GIVE GOD YOUR WEAKNESS AND HE’LL GIVE YOU HIS STRENGTH,” rub my palms on my jacket, and ring the doorbell. After a few agonizing moments, the door swings open.
My heart sinks. It’s Jacob’s mother.
I probably should have realized that might happen, considering it’s his parents’ house.
I swallow nervously. “Hi, ma’am. I don’t know if you remember me—”
“I do.” Her voice is clipped and cool.
“Right. Sorry. I was just wondering—”
“Jacob’s not here.”
My heart sinks a little further. “Oh. Is he... will he be back soon?”
“He’s in London,” she says. “Visiting his old girlfriend.”
It feels like she’s kicked me in the chest. The old girlfriend part would be bad enough, but he’s inLondon.
He’s in London and he didn’t even tell me.
His mother moves to close the door, but I take a half step forward. “Are you able to give me his address there? I need to speak with him.”
She stares at me for a moment, then lets out a disbelieving breath and looks to the side. “This isn’t appropriate.”
I narrow my eyes. I really don’t like this woman. “Okay,” I say flatly. “Sorry to bother you.”
I turn and walk away, but I only make it a few steps before she speaks again. “He’s finally happy again,” she says. “After everything that horrible sport did to him—after everythingyoudid”—her voice is tight with anger—“he’s finally himself again. How dare you show up here and try to take that all away?”
I keep walking. A year ago, I might’ve cared about her disapproval. But if Matty and Heather and Hunter have taught me anything, it’s that some people are great, and other people are shit. And Jacob’s mother is one of the shit ones. I’m not going to waste my time arguing with her.
“How dare you,” she repeats, her voice wavering. “You show up here, trying to—to intimidate me—”
I glance over my shoulder. There are two red spots on her cheeks and tears in her eyes, and she’s fanning herself rapidly with one hand like the stress of dealing with me—the intimidating thug who knocked politely on her door and asked her two reasonable questions—is too much for her to handle.
I roll my eyes. “Who is this performance for? Stop behaving like a child.”
Her mouth drops open in furious shock. I get in my car and drive away before she can recover the power of speech. When I look back in my rearview, she’s still standing in the exact same spot. I feel a little surge of satisfaction. Matty would want me to drop a mic right around now.
The adrenaline rush wears off pretty quickly, though. I text the pilot to see how soon we can leave, and wind up grabbing food at a diner to kill time while they finish refueling. All of my muscles feel heavy and dull.
I am glad Jacob is doing better. I’m glad he’s well enough to be visiting London.
It just really hurts that he went to London without telling me. Really, really hurts.
In a way, it’s the sign I’ve been looking for. I don’t have to wonder anymore. He’s better now, and he’s in London, and he’s visiting an ex-girlfriend instead of me. I came here looking for an answer from him, and now I’ve got it.
Time to move on.
30
Grow Up
I forgot how much I love London. There’s something about it that makes everything better. It’s cold out, but there are coffee shops on every other corner where you can sit by the window and watch strangers wander by. It rains a lot, but I kind of like aimlessly wandering the streets under an umbrella. It’s crowded, but not in the way my parents’ neighborhood in Albuquerque is crowded. No one here knows every little detail of everyone else’s life, and even better, no one cares. Every day, I get up and wander the city, and every day, I breathe a little easier.
It doesn’t make the whole Travis situation better, though.
That’s still total shit.
