“Right after the crash.”
“Did he break up with you?”
I shake my head. “I broke up with him.”
The look on his face when I did it flashes in the front of my mind. I’d never seen him look like that, not even when one of the dogs he used to walk from the animal shelter died.
“Why?” Amanda asks.
I pick at a stray thread on my jeans. “I don’t know,” I say again.
I’m not deflecting this time. I really don’t know. When I think back on the breakup, it’s all so fucking blurry. All I remember is how mad I was, and how much I hated him. He fucked everything up. Everything.
“What are you thinking, Jacob?”
I open my mouth and the words just slip out. “He had no fucking right to tell my parents about us.”
Her eyebrows lift. “He told your parents that you two were together?”
“Yes.” My anger spills into the word. “Or—I mean, I don’t know if he, like, sat them down and told them, or whatever, but he showed up in the hospital after the accident and made it fucking obvious.”
“Your parents didn’t know that you were gay?”
“I’m not gay,” I snap.
“Bisexual, then? Or pansexual?”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t even know what that means. I like women. And I’m not like,pretending, before you start getting on me. I’m way more into girls than guys. And I only ever date women.”
“So, you weren’t dating Travis.”
Uncomfortable heat rises to my face. “No. I mean... not officially.” My chest twists guiltily as I say it, which is stupid. Whatever we were, it’s over now.
“Did he think you were dating?” Amanda asks.
“I don’t know. Maybe.”
Definitely, counters a voice in the back of my mind.
“Hm.” Amanda taps her pen thoughtfully against her clipboard. I wonder what she’s written on there.This guy is a total prick, probably. “You seem very angry with him.”
“Yeah, well. He fucking ruined everything,” I mumble.
She nods. “It sounds like he was a very selfish person.”
I open my mouth to argue with her—I didn’t say he was selfish, she isn’t listening at all—then I hesitate. She’s watching me closely, her expression bland.
I give her a flat look. “You’re trying reverse psychology? Really?”
She cracks a smile. “It’s a classic for a reason.”
I snort. “Yeah, well. Fine. He wasn’t selfish.”
“No?”
I shake my head. It’s probably the last word I would use to describe Travis. “He still shouldn’t have told my parents about us,” I say. But the words sound more feeble this time.
“Hm.” She taps her pen again, watching me. “We have about twenty minutes left,” she says. “I’m going to go make myself a cup of tea. I want you to sit here and make a list. Five things you liked about Travis, and five things you didn’t.”
