“Just maybe more of your hugs,” she murmurs, nestling deeper in her older brother’s comforting embrace. I know everything that’s going on in my husband’s mind right now, how worried he must be for her. I’m so proud of how he’s handling it.
Noah rocks her gently. “I’ll always be there for you.”
“I know,” she whispers back. “Thank you.”
I refill everyone’s hot drinks while Noah sits back down, and we all take a deep breath. Lane glances at me, mouthingthank youand giving me a small but genuine smile. I smile back at her. Is it crazy that I can’t wait to hold her baby in my arms? I held Ivy at Alex and Chris’s, and it was just the most overwhelmingly loving experience ever.
“So, what’s the plan?” Beck asks.
As Lane explains how she’ll be working from home for a while, Beck goes into builder mode, verbally drawing a sketch of where he could install a nursery and a home office in the other aisle of Lilyvale.
“How about health care?” Noah asks. “And an ob-gyn. You need to get on that tomorrow. Maybe this place in South Burlington where Alex went. Chris said they were great. We can ask about doulas and midwives around here. You need to get your team together.”
Lane glances at me, and I smile back at her, blowing her a kiss. She’s getting everything she needs from her family right now, and I couldn’t be happier that I’m part of it.
“Lane will be alright,” I say to Noah that afternoon. We’re on a long walk up Hunger Path with the dogs while Beck and Lane are taking measurements and discussing the ideal orientation for the nursery.
He barely reciprocates my tug when I slide my hand in his. “Yeah. Eventually.”
“Oh, honey. It’s not the end of the world.”
“Isn’t it, though? For her? God knows I was hoping she’d stay in Emerald Creek. Do something here. But not like that. Not as a fall back.” A small animal rustles in the fallen leaves, and Muffin barks, looking at his mother.
I take a deep breath. “She’ll be fine.”In the end.
A cloud obscures the sky, and I wrap my shawl tighter around my shoulders.
“And who’s the father? And what’s that shit about not wanting to talk about him?!” Noah continues.
Good question. “She’ll come around.”I hope. “Give her a little time. It’s a shock to you, so imagine how she feels.”
“You’re right.” He wraps his warm arm around my shoulders and kisses the top of my head. “Why would she have unprotected sex with someone who’s not fit to be a father?”
“No birth control is one hundred percent fail-proof,” I answer, feeling the need to defend her. We keep walking in silence, watching the dogs sniff around, hearing only the sound of fallen leaves cracking under our hiking boots.
“How long have you known?” Noah asks, glancing at me.
Does he feel left out? I never want to come between him and Lane. “Just for a few days. She needed to talk and—”
“It’s fine.” Noah’s gaze is intense on me. “It’sgreat,actually. I’m… Without a mother, or another sister, you’re all she has, babe.”
His emotion seeps into me. “She has you, too, and Beck. Maternity is not only a woman’s thing.” His reaction about putting her birth team together alone proves that Noah gets it.
“I know. It’s just… you’re so easy to talk to. I can be a bit stiff, and Beck is always looking either for a prank or a fight. I see how you are with her when you guys talk about her job search. She needs someone who will just listen.”
“Now that you have the whole picture, it’ll be easier for you to understand her.”
We reach the high point of our trek and stop on the flat top of the hill. As we catch our breaths, we take in the scenery at our feet. Emerald Creek, nestled in a bend of the eponymous river, plumes of smoke billowing from a few chimneys, the delicate peals of the church chiming the top of the hour wafting to us.
Even Calla and the pups are taken by the serenity of the moment. They’re quiet and almost still.
Calla turns her big head to me, and I swear… she’s smiling.
forty-five
Noah
Minutes after Willow and I make it to the store the next morning, the doorbell chimes. “Well, that was an interesting start to my day,” Ms. Angela says as she trots inside and straightens a few things. “Lovely display, my dear,” she tells Willow, her pursed lips saying something’s definitely wrong. “I need to talk to you two,” she tells us, gesturing to the office. “Actually,” she says as she switches the Open sign to Closed, “There’s no one in here yet, right?”
