“That’s not true, Lucas. If I’ve learned anything these last few days, it’s that your empathy is tremendous. Melody feels safe and loved with you. That’s more than I can say about my childhood or my father. So...stop putting so much pressure on yourself.”
“How am I supposed to do that?” he whispered hoarsely, looking at her with the question in his eyes. “How? She’s this perfect little being, so ridiculously smart and witty. And I’m a complete idiot. It all happened so fast back then. Laney was suddenly dead and I had all this responsibility and... God, Laney had many flaws, but she was amazing at communicating. Talking to Melody about her problems...talking to our parents about their problems. She loved drama, but when it wasimportant, she pulled herself together. But me? I’m good at playing hockey and staring people down. Those aren’t the qualities that make a good father.”
“That’s not all you can do, Lucas,” she said earnestly. “You’re a remarkably good listener. You make everyone feel like everything they say is interesting. You can joke around with Melody, make her laugh, and get her to eat her tomatoes.”
“I still don’t do her justice, I...”
“No. My father didn’t do us justice,” she interrupted heatedly. “You’re doing your best!”
“It's not enough. I’m always gone.”
“You’re here when you can be.”
“Anna! Hockey players are categorically bad fathers just because of our damn away games.”
“You call her twice a day!”
“I’m going to disappoint her, Anna,” he whispered harshly, his eyes glistening. “Just like I disappointed you. Like I disappointed my team last year. Like I disappointed Laney all those years by ignoring her and her problems. I should have been there for her, but I wasn’t. And now I want to be there for Melody, but...”
“You are!” she replied sharply. “Lucas, it’s okay that you have a job. It sucks that you have to be on the road all the time, but you’re still there for her, and she’s still your priority. And... I never felt like Dax wasn’t there for me just because he was on the road all the time.”
“But you’re an adult. Melody’s a kid...”
“And she adores you! Have you ever asked Melody? If you’re doing her justice, if she’s missing something? Because I don’t believe she would agree with that. Naturally, she’s sad when you’re not home — because you’re so fantastic when you’re with her. You make her feel like she’s not alone. Didn’t you hear her at the table just now? What the other children in her group weresaying isn’t true. She has a parent. That washeropinion. And your sister’s opinion was that you should look after Melody.”
He took a shuddering breath. “She didn’t have much choice, Anna. You just saw my mother, didn’t you? She only wrote in her will that she wanted me because I’m the only one who can give Melody a peaceful life without drama. And I try to stick to that — and yet I sleep with you. Yet I leave her with my parents when I’m away.”
“And yet Melody was damn lucky after losing her mother,” Anna added, stroking his cheeks with her thumbs. “You’re doing your best. And your best is enough, Lucas.”
“I...”
“It is enough. For her. For me. For your team. It’s truly enough,” she whispered, kissing him gently on the lips. “No one is disappointed. No one blames you. It’s a lot to suddenly have a child. But you're handling it well.”
Nodding, Lucas closed his eyes again until his breathing slowed and his shoulders lost their tension. He was silent again, but this time the silence was no longer heavy and oppressive.
“Thank you,” he finally murmured.
“No, thank you.” She cleared her throat. “For inviting me to breakfast. You know what my fridge looks like, right?”
He smiled. It was a small, weak smile, but it made her heart falter. “Oh, I didn’t invite you for that,” he said. He opened his eyes and took her hands, which were still around his face, in his. “Melody and I are going on a trip today, and I thought you might be interested in tagging along.”
She opened her mouth in surprise. “What kind of trip?”
He lifted one corner of his mouth. “We’re going ice skating.”
She laughed. “Oh God.”
“It’s about time you learned.”
She sighed dramatically and stood. “Okay. I’m in. But only because you need to practice so you can win Friday and advance to the next round.”
He nodded seriously and rose. “Sure, just because of that,” he murmured, leaning toward her and giving her a gentle, intimate kiss on the forehead.
Forehead kissesare I love youkisses.
Penny’s words forced their way into her head. They made Anna’s heart race and warmed her entire body. She glanced up at Lucas, who was peering thoughtfully into her eyes...and everything about his gaze set her heart ablaze, made her feel like she was exactly where she belonged, living more than just a real life.
Living a happy one.
