“You’re more than that,” Eli said.
“You’re more thanyouthink, too. But we can figure that out one night at a time. One festival at a time. We don’t have to have an answer tonight.”
His voice wrapped around Eli like another blanket, and some of the tightness eased in Eli’s shoulders.
“Okay,” he whispered. “Okay.”
Noah’s expression softened. “Can I hold your hand again?”
“Yeah.” Eli smiled. “Please.”
Their fingers entwined, and they stood there for a moment in the relative quiet.
Eli thought of the sketchbook in his duffel, the drawing he hadn’t told Noah about. It tugged at him now, not as something creepy or wrong, but something honest that kept edging closer to the surface.
He didn’t want lies between them, not even lies by omission.
“Can I tell you something kind of weird?” he blurted.
Noah’s brows rose slightly. “Now I’m intrigued.”
Eli’s heart hammered. “Not tonight,” he backpedaled. “Soon, though. When I’m ready.”
Noah considered him for a moment before nodding. “Okay. When you’re ready.” He tilted his head. “Should I be worried?”
“It’s nothing bad,” Eli assured him. He gestured toward the square. “But I think Iamready for more cocoa and some of Aileen’s pastries, if there’s any left.”
“If we’re really lucky, she’ll have saved some for us.”
This time, when they stepped into the light and the music and the noise, Eli didn’t feel like an imposter in someone else’s story.
He felt like he’d stepped into his own with someone by his side whosawhim.
His secret would come out soon. He’d make sure of it. But for tonight, he let himself enjoy the glow of the lights, the music, the laughter, and Noah’s hand wrapped firmly in his.
For the first time in years, Christmas didn’t feel like forced cheer.
It glistened with promise.
Chapter Eighteen
Every time Elispied his duffel sitting in the corner, he resisted the urge to remove the sketchbook.
You’ll tell him. Soon. When the right moment comes.
Except moments came and went.
The festival rolled on in a blur of lights and crowds and cocoa. He and Noah settled into a rhythm, days filled with setup and troubleshooting—“Why is there glitter in the fuse box?”—and evenings split between visiting his mom, staying at Aileen’s, and quiet, warm nights at Noah’s place that made Eli’s chest ache in ways that were both good and scary.
The sketchbook stayed in the bag.
The parade came and went, and Eli loved the imagination on display, from Disney characters to superheroes to sports. Santa led the parade in a huge red and gold sleigh, and Eli realized it was the high school music teacher, Mr. Michaelson. Eight reindeer pulled the sleigh, and Eli shook his head in wonder.
“How did they pull that off?”
Noah laughed. “It’s all a case of who you know.”
The crowds cheered and whooped as Santa waved, while kids in elf costumes threw candy canes into the throng.
