Nolan let out a string of curses, his large frame tensing in the doorway while he squeezed her vibrator in his right hand. “Hell, you have no idea what I think.”
Yvonne sat up in the bath and glared at him. “One of us has to be sensible, look to the future.”
“I thought I’d made it clear,” Nolan said, irritation burning off him in palpable waves. He looked down at his hand and flung the vibrator at her. “I want you and the boys in my life. This isn’t a temporary thing for me.”
Some of the starch went out of her and she sank beneath the warm water again, her nakedness suddenly making her feel vulnerable. She gripped the vibrator tightly in her hand. “You threw us away quickly enough last time, and that’s why we can never be more than friends. The boys and I aren’t disposable. When I decide I need a man in my life full time, I have to be sure he’ll stick. I’ve already made one mistake, and I don’t intend to muck up again.”
“So none of this—us—matters to you.” Temper turned his mouth into a cruel slit, and she wished she could magically conjure up a barrier of thick clothes. This wasn’t the perfect place to pick a fight.
“Of course it matters. We’re friends.” Unease crept into her seconds after the words left her mouth. That wasn’t quite true. Her stupid, traitorous heart kept trying to turn their camaraderie into more.No. No sentimental crap for her. She bore no illusions about her pull on the opposite sex. Heck, her husband had left her for another man. What did that say about her sexual allure?
A thump at the door indicated the arrival of room service, and Nolan stomped away with another curse. Yvonne set the vibrator aside and grabbed a white flannel. She added soap and briskly washed herself. Five minutes later, she pulled a cotton robe around her and padded out to join Nolan.
“More coffee?” he asked, his tone abrupt, his mouth precision straight.
“Thanks.”Talk about uncomfortable.
“Scrambled eggs? Toast?”
“Yes, please.” Yvonne flinched at the politeness.Great. Just great.“What are you doing this morning?”
“I’m meeting Tyler and helping him shift furniture around at his new place.”
Yvonne nodded. “That’s nice.” Awkward silence fell. “I’m sorry. I—”
“Don’t.” Nolan made a slashing motion with his hand. “Not when you don’t mean the apology.”
“You walked away from me.” Yvonne felt the sting of tears in her eyes and fiercely willed them away. She would not cry.
“I didn’t walk away. I explained I couldn’t see you because of the reality show.”
“The premise of the show was farmers seeking a wife!” Her voice emerged in an unattractive screech, and she snatched a breath, fighting for equilibrium. She let the air ease out to the count of three before locking gazes with Nolan. “Believe me, I got the message.” When Nolan didn’t answer straightaway, she poured herself another cup of coffee and stood. “I’ll go and get ready. I don’t want to keep the girls waiting.”
His mouth firmed and he gave a clipped nod.
She felt a wave of petty satisfaction at being the one to leave, then the emptiness, the wrongness struck her. Damn, she hated arguing. She hesitated, sighed, and continued to the bedroom. Trying to discuss this further right now would only spoil both their days.
Nolan walked through the Remuera house at his brother’s side. He was meant to be admiring the native timber and the size of the place, but his thoughts centered on Yvonne. “Yvonne and I had a fight.” He dragged a hand through his hair, frustration churning his stomach. “Damn. I didn’t mean to blurt that out.”
“Oh?” Tyler said, the rise of his brows indicating curiosity, a willingness to listen.
Nolan hesitated and studied the man who was his half-brother. Tyler wouldn’t gossip, and he needed a man’s opinion. “She keeps saying we’re friends and according to her, that’s all we’ll ever have.”
Tyler leaned against the doorjamb. “What do you want?”
Nolan shuffled uncomfortably and stalked into the oblong-shaped room, his boots thudding against the wooden floorboards. “I want her, the boys in my life. They make me happy.”
“Have you told her you love her?”
“I—” Nolan came to an abrupt halt and spun to stare at his brother. “Fuck.”
A grin spread across Tyler’s face. “You don’t get bent out of shape like this if you don’t care. I figure you must love her if you’re thinking of a future, but you need to tell her. She’s not a mind reader.”
Nolan heaved a sigh, the idea feeling newer than it should. But it wasn’t as if he or Tyler had received a good demonstration of the finer emotions between adults. He couldn’t recall his parents embracing. No, their interactions were generally sniping matches.
“I’ve hurt her. Before the reality show, we were seeing a lot of each other. I used to spend quite a few nights at her place.” He scowled. “Somehow Mum got wind of it and she started spreading rumors about Yvonne. Then Mum entered me in that stupid show and I decided on payback. I should’ve explained things better. Instead, I backed off because I wanted Yvonne out of Mum’s firing range.”
“Bro,” Tyler said, his tone sympathetic. “A woman mightn’t understand. She wouldn’t see you were trying to protect her.”
