Chapter Twelve
Susan stared out the car window at the rapidly darkening sky. She had to tell Tyler before gossip swept Clare and he learned from another source.
But it was so hard.
Tyler was the man she’d always searched for, possessed the qualities she wanted in a husband.
Yeah, right man. Wrong circumstances.
An ache clamped around her chest and communicated unhappiness to her stomach. Soon her gut churned and not even her hand pressed to her belly halted the inner turmoil. Honesty was best. She had to face the truth. Small town life wasn’t for her—not for the rest of her life. She enjoyed the amenities of the city and dance—she couldn’t give that up now that she’d found happiness.
“Would you like to come to my place for a drink?” Tyler asked.
“It’s been a lovely day, but I’m tired and they say we have an early start tomorrow.” She shot him a quick glance and died a little inside at his transparent contentment. “Tyler, I need to tell you something.” Her heart beat a fraction faster, and her stupid stomach dipped and lurched like a boat in a storm. She curled her hands to fists and hid them in her lap.
“Sounds serious.”
She sighed, the sound heavy, full of gloom.
“Should I pull over?”
Maybe that would be best. “Yes.”
“Sounds really serious,” he teased.
Tears welled in her eyes and she blinked hard. Once. Twice. Somehow, she managed to keep them from overflowing. Crying wouldn’t help one single bit.
He pulled over on the outskirts of Clare and switched off the ignition. In the resulting silence, panic clawed at her, fought with the need for honesty. Above all, Tyler deserved her candor.
“Jennifer told us this morning she’s changed her mind about the filming schedule. We’re wrapping up this weekend. Tyler, I’m going home” She couldn’t face him, so she spoke to the front window. “Nolan has to choose either me or Lucy. They’ll film him as he arrives at one of our houses.”
“But I thought—fuck,” he muttered.
Susan didn’t even wince.
“Marry me,” he said. “Tell Nolan you’re off the market and marry me.”
The sting in her eyes became too much and the tears broke her mental barrier, flowing down her cheeks unchecked.
“Suzy.” He reached for her hand and linked his fingers with her hot and sweaty ones. “I love you. Stay in Clare with me.”
“I love you t-too,” she said, her voice faltering over the words. She tugged her hand away. “But I can’t move to Clare.”
“Why not? We love each other. We can have a good life here. Have more children. Do you want children?”
“Oh, Tyler. I want that more than anything, but I love my life in the city. My job. My friends. I like Clare too, but as a place to visit for a little while. I…I’d start to resent you if I had to move here permanently.”
“But I can’t leave.” Tyler’s words, his stark disappointment, knotted her throat.
She swallowed and swallowed and swallowed again, hating the pain she was inflicting, hating the situation, hating herself.
“I can’t leave Eric to run the farm alone. Eric and Josie are my family. I can’t leave them in the lurch.”
Susan gulped. “Maybe if you asked them—”
“What would I do in the city? I don’t have any qualifications. I have a daughter to think about,” he said. “I thought you liked it here. I thought you loved me.”
I do,she wanted to say, but she held her silence because nothing she could say would make this right.
