“I can’t.” Pain carried in the hoarse whisper, and she seemed to zone out for an instant. Then she glanced at him, the sheen of emotion welling in her eyes. “I don’t think I’m good with relationships.”
He’d done this to her. The hurt radiating from her weakened his knees. Before he’d realized it, he had gathered her in his arms. When she tipped back her head, a tear escaped, and he brushed it away with his thumb. She surrendered, the paper and pen dropping to the floor. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she pressed her face to his shirt, a tremble rippling through her slender body.
Ryan dragged in a deep breath, his anxiety lessening now that he held her. This was home. Now all he had to do was convince her.
“Julia.” He breathed her in, the floral and herbal notes of her perfume, familiar and comforting even though he struggled to recall the name of the scent.
She lifted her head, and he was totally lost. He claimed her mouth softly, hesitating in case she rejected him. Relief struck him hard when her hands tightened on his shirt, but he kept the kiss casual, licking her lips and relearning her taste.
Sweet. Beautiful.
His.
He shivered at the surge of heat racing to his groin and desperately attempted to quell the blast of sexual need.Slow and easy. Gradually, he deepened the kiss, drinking in her sweetness, allowing his body to tell her everything—how much he’d missed her, hungered for her even when he hadn’t remembered her name.
He’d known his mystery woman was important, instinctively realized he had to keep the memory to himself until he’d worked everything through. If only he’d come home after the accident. But he’d had commitments and he’d honored them.
“Julia,” he whispered. “I love you.”
She thrust away from him without warning, leaving him bereft. “You forget. I saw the photos of you with other women.”
“Show them to me,” he said, not willing to back down or walk away from this important fight. “Are you sure they weren’t digitally altered? Neil and Caleb have both vouched for me. I haven’t slept with another woman since I left New Zealand.”
“That you recollect.” Her expression held skepticism.
“I remember cold showers. Many cold showers.” The memory went some way to cooling his ardor, for which he was thankful. The last thing he needed was for her to think he only wanted her for sex. “I spent a lot of my free time writing new songs,” he said. “I can show you the songs. Caleb and I have worked on the arrangements. Please give me a chance. Let me prove myself.” Words almost tumbled over each other as he sought a way through her anger, her doubt. “Please.”
“I’m going to be busy with the club,” she said.
“Let me help. Caleb and I were talking earlier. The acoustics are excellent, and it would make a suitable place for us to rehearse our new material. Somewhere off the radar. We’d pay you for use of the space.”
He had no idea what he’d do if she refused. Nah, that was a lie. Even if he had to camp outside with a guitar and play songs on the street, he’d spend his hours with her, attempting to change her mind.
“All right,” she said after a long pause, her tone grudging. “But you’re not moving in with me.”
His held breath released with a hiss. Okay. He could work with that. “Will you let me take you to dinner?”
“Maybe.”
“All right.” A maybe was as good as a yes. “And the band can rehearse here?”
“Are you sure that’s a good idea? What about my friends and the staff? What are you going to tell them? I presume you want to keep your identities quiet?”
He didn’t care. He’d make this work. “Caleb has already told them we work as roadies. We’ll keep to the story and tell them we’re contemplating forming a band with some friends. Even if we playFrench Lettersmusic, they’ll think we’re doing covers of popular music. Most people see what they want. Without our stage makeup, no one recognizes us.”
Julia nodded, losing some of her starchiness. “If anyone asks I’ll tell them you’re a band looking for a break.”
“Julia, are you ready?” Maggie shouted.
“Are you and Caleb coming to the club with us?” Julia asked, gliding around him in a wide circle. “We’re checking out the opposition.”
“Thanks.” Satisfaction filled his chest, and despite her strictures about taking things slowly, he was quietly pleased. She reminded him of the dog his family had adopted from the Humane Society when he was a kid. Despite her feisty attitude, she acted as if he might kick her at the first opportunity. Troublesome wench. That dog had become his best buddy, and he intended to use the same calm persistence with his wife.
The hour was still early—in club terms—yet already a line had formed outside. The seven of them joined the end of the queue, keeping the conversation away fromThe Last Frontier. A burly bouncer, dressed in a black suit, stood at the head of the line, his massive arms crossed over his chest. His bring-it-on size shouted a warning for everyone to behave, but none of the waiting people were interested in issuing a challenge.
“Have you been here before?” Julia asked the couple standing in front of them. She wanted to get a feel for the clientele and learn what attracted them to this new club. Anything to get her mind off Ryan. God, she’d let him kiss her, which ranked right up there with stupid. Sly, tricky man. His gentleness had cut her mental arguments off at the knees and fogged her stupid brain.
“Good music. Great atmosphere,” a woman said. “There are both male and female performers so the place doesn’t have a sleazy club vibe. It’s comfortable here with my girlfriends.”
