Connor found himself back in the IT department without remembering walking there. All he could think of was Maggie with another man. Touching her. Kissing her. Making love to her.
He shook his head, trying to shake away the vision. His throat tightened. His hands clenched to fists. Damn, he needed a plan. He’d fallen hard for Maggie and the last thing he wanted was another man to snatch her from him.
His phone rang and he picked it up. “Grey.” He listened for a few minutes and hung up. He sighed, dragged a hand through his hair and stood. Damn, he’d expected this was coming, but he hated acting the watchdog.
“Roger. Larry. One of the big bosses is coming to talk to us about private Internet usage.”
“Aw, crap,” Larry said. “That takes the fun out of work.”
“What time is the meeting?” Roger asked.
“In half an hour.” This should be interesting. He knew a lot of the staff used the Internet for private purposes. Even he’d jumped online to check email and Maggie’s blog. Swearing under his breath, he returned to his desk.
A plan to catch Maggie. For a moment he wished he could talk to Julia, but that was impossible. This one he’d have to handle on his own.
“Man, you have to see this blog,” Larry said.
The excited light in Larry’s eyes twisted Connor’s stomach into a knot.Please, not Maggie’s blog. “You’re not meant to check all the links,” he reminded his workmate. “You’re meant to link employees to private Internet use.”
“But the blog is called Big Bad Ass. Ihadto check it out.”
ItwasMaggie’s blog. Damn, they’d been careless reading her blog at work. He couldn’t tell off the girls when he was guilty of the same crime. Surely Maggie wouldn’t be silly enough to post from work?
“Which computers have accessed this blog?” He held his breath while he waited for Larry to consult his printouts.
“At least four different computers. No, wait. It’s more than that.” He glanced at Connor. “This blog has been accessed from all over the place. You’d think if it was that popular, we’d have heard gossip.”
Belatedly Connor remembered Julia worked in different departments, depending where her secretarial services were required. “What sort of blog is it?” He asked the question knowing Larry expected curiosity.
Larry smirked. “It’s about spanking. Bring up the URL and take a look.”
Connor typed in the URL and hoped Larry didn’t notice it came up automatically after he’d typed the first few letters. Maggie had posted a new entry since he’d last checked.
I’ve been thinking about the physical act of spanking. Yes, it’s true. I’m driven to discover more in my thirst for knowledge. To date I hadn’t considered spanking positions. I’d merely thought about the act itself and the noise. Thunk. Crack. Whack. Thinking about the sounds gets me hot. Isn’t that strange?
A shudder worked through Connor. Hell, the sounds haunted him and refused to leave. Every time he read Maggie’s blog and thought about spanking her, the noises returned.The memories. The sharp cry from his mother when his father’s fist hit her face. The crunch of a bone breaking. His father’s grunt as he struck out with his hands.
And the crying.
The crying haunted him most of all. His own muffled sobs as he squeezed into a corner, trying to remain out of sight. His mother’s tears, restrained despite her pain. And his father’s loud sobs that he was sorry and it’d never happen again. A promise he broke over and over.
Connor concentrated on the computer screen forcing away the painful memories, the sense of helplessness and feeling he should’ve done something. His mother and Frank had told him it wouldn’t have made a difference. As an adult he realized his choices were limited. Intellectually, he knew there was nothing he could have done to change the course of events, but try telling that to his heart.
I came across a post in a forum I enjoy visiting. It contained a list of spanking positions. Twenty in all. Who knew? Reading through them was an eye-opener.
All I can think of now is trying the positions until I come back to my main problem.
No man to spank me.
Maybe I need to cast my net farther afield and try dating new guys. I’m not stupid enough to mention spanking on the first date but if we clicked and took our relationship into the physical, I’d mention spanking then. No matter how embarrassed I felt. That’s where I went wrong last time. I hesitated and second-guessed myself instead of stating my needs upfront. By the time I gathered courage I’d learned about my lover’s background and worried about his reaction to my request for a good spanking.
Yeah, as much as I like this guy I intend to pursue other men. And before you think I’m two-timing or being unfaithful, let me assure you I’m not. We have a casual agreement and have promised each other if someone else comes along, we’ll let the other know. We’re adults. We knew the score before we slept with each other.
Hell, wasn’t that a kick in the head. Maggie had accepted a date with this other man, and if things worked out, he was down the track. Theirfriends with benefitsdeal would end and he’d lose the one woman he could love—
Nah, he needed honesty here. He loved Maggie, and that was the problem. Too many secrets. Damn, why was it so bloody hard?
“I’d love to meet her,” Larry said. “I’ve read the blog posts. Hell, I’d spank her if she asked me. I wonder what she looks like. Probably a dog.”
