How do I approach my partner and ask him to spank me?
I’ve met a man I like. The sex is great. More than great. And even better, we have a good relationship out of bed. I want to take our relationship to the next stage. How do I ask him to spank me when I know something in his background makes him abhor the whole idea of this sort of kink?
I don’t know what to do now. It’s true I’ve had more time to think about spanking and the repercussions of adding it to my sex life. When I approach him, I know he’ll be both shocked and reluctant. But I also know myself. I won’t be happy until I try this. The more I read both online in blogs and forums and also in erotic romances featuring spanking, the more I want to explore this for myself.
I was ready to ask last night. I’ve decided honesty is something to strive for—a good thing, I think. Anyway, I opened my mouth to state my desires and he started talking, asking questions about my childhood. I didn’t mind answering. Like many New Zealand children, I come from a broken home where both my parents remarried and I was plunged into a blended family. Some of you are probably nodding because you’re in the same situation. But what do you do where your partner comes from a violent background? What do you do if he’s worried about turning into the same monster as his father? How do I get him to come to terms with the fact that if I give him permission to spank me, he’s not dropping into the same dark pit that haunted his father?
I’ve tried patience. I really have. Some of you might tell me to forget spanking and grasp the happiness I’ve found already. I can’t do that because that would be allowing myself to settle.
I don’t know what to do, how to approach this problem. My mind is going in circles, and I’m frustrated. I don’t want a stranger to spank me. I could do that—pay to have someone spank me—but I know in my heart it wouldn’t work. I want love and laughter along with my spanking. I want rich fantasies and silly role-playing. I refuse to settle for second best.
If you have advice for me, I’d love to hear it. How did you introduce spanking to your relationship? Did it happen by accident or was it a planned thing introduced to bring spiciness to your relationship?
Connor read the post with growing alarm. His heart thumped so fast it felt as if he’d run a hundred meter sprint. He wanted Maggie, not just for now, but for the future. A curse slipped free.
Why the hell had she picked up that bloody book?
With a glance at his watch, he grabbed his car keys and slammed from his apartment to do what he’d been putting off. He’d hoped Maggie would let go of this spanking idea. But no, she continued to blog and had attracted a following. A sensation he identified as jealousy clutched his chest, squeezing so tight it felt as if someone had applied a vice, clamping it shut around his ribs.
He knew little of his mother’s first marriage, mainly because he’d been a child when it happened and she’d protected him from the worst of the violence. But, he needed answers. He needed to reconcile his love for Maggie with her desire for spanking. And he needed to do it now, before he lost her to another man.
Half an hour later, he knocked on his mother’s door before opening it and shouting a greeting. Two cars sat in the driveway, so he knew his parents were at home. He’d been so wound up he hadn’t thought to call ahead.
His mother appeared from the lounge. “Connor, what are you doing here?”
Frank appeared beside her and wrapped an arm around her waist. “What your mother means is we’re pleased to see you.”
He exchanged a grin with Frank. “Aren’t I allowed to pop in to see you whenever I feel like it?”
“Of course you are,” his mother said. “We were about to have a barbeque. Can you stay? You are still coming for my birthday?”
“I’d love to have dinner, and I wouldn’t dare miss your birthday,” Connor said. “Although isn’t it cold for a barbeque? It looked like rain during the drive here.” The crash of thunder punctuated his words and rain rattled the windows with enough force to make them look outside.
“You brought that rain with you.” The twinkle in his mother’s eyes belied the stern words.
Connor grinned again, pleased he’d come, despite the circumstances that brought him. “Don’t you listen to the weather forecasts?” Although he’d thought about inviting Maggie and maybe the others for his mother’s birthday, he’d changed his mind. It would be like making a statement of intent, and he didn’t want to do that, not publically at least.
“I look out the window,” his mother retorted. “I make the right forecast most of the time.”
“What can I get you to drink?” Frank asked. “Gabby and I are drinking wine, but we have beer if you’d prefer.”
“You two catch up,” his mother said. “I’ll get Connor a beer and cook the steaks.”
Connor accepted a beer and followed Frank to the lounge. He sat then jumped to his feet. He paced, unable to settle. Belatedly, he noticed Frank studying him in a quizzical manner.
“Problem?”
With his round glasses frames, Frank reminded him of an owl. A wise old owl.
“Yeah. I’m not sure how to say this so I’m going to lay it out fast before I die of embarrassment.” Connor paced another lap of the lounge, the movement helping him to concentrate. “I’ve met a woman, someone I like and want a future with. She wants me to spank her as part of our lovemaking, and I’m worried I’ll hurt her. I…I…what if I take after my father?”
“Connor,” his mother said from the doorway. “Son, you’re not like Larry. You have the most even temper I’ve known. I’ve never seen a hint of Larry’s violence in you.Never.”
Frank smiled a gentle smile, the one that told Connor how much he loved both his mother and him. The same smile he’d always showered on them. “At least you stopped his pacing. I thought I’d have to spring for new carpet because of the track he’s wearing.”
“Mum, I’m sorry you had to hear. I know you don’t like talking about him.”
“Connor.” His mother looked as if she might cry.
