Fresh footprints in the snow lead away from the house toward a trail that disappears into the woods. I follow them, my breath coming out in white puffs as I pick up my pace. The path narrows as it winds through towering pines, their branches heavy with snow. It's eerily quiet out here, every sound muffled by the snow-covered landscape.
About a quarter mile down the trail, I find her perched on a fallen log, gaze fixed on the distant mountains. Her arms wrap tightly around herself against the biting cold, her expression distant and pensive. My heart stutters in my chest, that familiar skip I can't control anymore whenever she comes into view. The winter gear she’s wearing engulfs her small frame, cheeks flushed from the cold, wisps of auburn hair escaping her toboggan, yet something about the sight of her there, vulnerable against the vast landscape, steals my breath more than any mountain vista ever could.
"Planning your escape?" I call out, keeping my tone light.
She startles, turning to face me with wide eyes. "Jesus, Bash! You scared me."
"Sorry. Didn't mean to sneak up on you." I gesture to the log. "Mind if I join you?"
She hesitates just long enough for me to notice before nodding. I brush some snow off the log and sit beside her, leaving a small gap between us.
"Emily said you needed to think," I say after a moment of silence. "About what?"
She sighs, her breath visible in the cold air. "Us. Whatever we're doing here."
"I thought we were having a good time. Was I wrong?"
"That's the problem." She turns to face me, her hazel eyes conflicted. "We're having too good a time."
I frown. "I'm not following."
"This was supposed to be pretend, remember? A convenient arrangement. But now..." She trails off, looking away.
"Now what?"
"Now I don't know what's real anymore." Her voice has an edge to it, frustration seeping through. "We sleep together, we laugh together, your sister and niece come to visit, we tell each other things..."
"And that's... bad?"
"It's complicated and confusing. That’s what it is." She stands suddenly, pacing in front of me. "What happens when we go home, Bash? When there's no audience to perform for? When we're just two coworkers who have to see each other every day?"
I stand too, trying to catch her gaze. "Who says we have to stop? Why can't this just be what it is?"
"Because it started as a lie!" She throws her hands up. "How am I supposed to trust what's happening between us when the foundation is completely fake?"
"The foundation might have been fake, but everything since then has been real. At least for me." I stand and take a step toward her. "I don't give a damn about our original agreement anymore, Charlie. I care about you."
She shakes her head, taking a step back. "How can I believe that? You've been playing the perfect boyfriend for days. For all I know, this is just another performance."
The accusation stings more than I expected. "Is that what you think? That I've been acting this whole time?"
"I don't know what to think!" Her voice rises slightly. "You're the one who ghosted me after our hook up."
I open my mouth to start saying that I've apologized for that numerous times and that I thought we were past it, but she puts her hand up and cuts me off.
"I know, I know, you're sorry and honestly it was a one-night stand and I shouldn't feel the way I feel about it but then you show up at my job, in my space, and suddenly we're in this elaborate charade. And now you're making me feel things I'm not ready to feel."
"So you're punishing me for the mistake I made before? I've apologized for leaving that morning. I've tried to show you I'm not that guy."
"It's not about punishment." Her voice softens slightly. "It's about trust. How do I know you won't disappear again the minute things get real? The minute we're back in the real world and not in this holiday fantasy?"
I run a hand through my hair in frustration. "You're looking for guarantees I can't give you, Charlie. Nobody can. Relationships are always a risk."
"That's easy for you to say. You're not the one who got left behind."
"Actually, I am." The words come out sharper than intended. "My entire career disappeared overnight when I blew out my knee. Everyone who claimed to care about me when I was on top? Gone. The sponsors, the so-called friends, even the girl I was seeing at the time, all vanished once I wasn't valuable to them anymore."
Her expression softens, but she shakes her head. "That's different."
