Dawn found Cecilia on the back porch as the dark clouds began to fade. Outside, she inhaled deeply; the invigorating, greenery-scented country air was still a marvel to her.
As she thought of what happened yesterday, she felt a curious sensation in her chest.
All this time, I’ve been everything but myself. How have I been so blind this long?
What on earth was I going to do when Ididmarry Gabriel? Keep up the act of the perfect wife and never let my true self come to the fore?
The fog was lifting from the ground as she wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and looped it over her hair. Heading out into the pastoral lawns, she walked.
What do I think about Cassian’s offer of taking his lessons? If there is one thing I do know about him, he does know intimacy. It could profit me to learn how to please a man.
It did not matter where her feet took her; she just needed to move, not minding a whit how her aproned skirts whispered over the trampled grass.
“Do I trust that he will stick to his word and not break his vow to me?” she thought to herself.
She passed by a bush that rattled unnervingly because there was little to no wind. Stepping back, she peered at the bush and, as it rustled again, retreated even further.
“Are you scared of bushes, sweetheart?” Cassian’s sudden voice from behind her had her jumping.
Spinning on her heel, she gripped the shawl tighter, “What—why did you do that?”
“To see your reaction,” he shrugged. “I am surprised to see you out here at this hour. I was under the impression good ladies slept past nine.”
“Some. Not I,” Cecilia said while wrapping the shawl tighter. “I came out here to clear my head.”
“Of what, pray tell?” Cassian asked.
His dark hair was tousled. In fact, all of him was tousled, as if he had just rolled out of bed and thrown some clothes on. As much of a mess he was, he still rather took her breath away. Her gaze was drawn to the dusky hue of his skin, sun-bronzed despite the fashion of the day for a paler complexion.
It was a testament, she supposed, to his longstanding exile to more exotic locales.
His clothing, despite his untidy appearance, was excellently tailored and fitted his frame to a tee. The sides of his lawn shirt emphasized the breadth of his shoulders and the wide expanse of his chest as it tapered down to a lean waist and hips. His muscular thighs strained the fabric of his faded, old breeches.
“Alexander the Great’s conquest of the East,” she said flatly.
His brow ticked up. “Ancient kings keep you up at night? How ironic, the present king keeps me up at night as well.”
She rolled her eyes. “No, Cassian. I am thinking about how I wish I could have attended Oxford or Cambridge so I’d have something more to occupy my time than to think about my limited options.”
Cassian scoffed and flicked his hair from his eyes. “Trust me, Cecilia, it is nothing to rave about. Those long lectures steal pieces of your soul.”
“At least I’d have an academic achievement that means something.”
“It is not your fault,” he replied. “Somewhere along the way, our society decided the studies of the female scribes in Persia were too hard or that war should not be for the warrior womenof the Steppe.
“God forbid they know of Artunis, a Lieutenant Commander of the army under Cyrus the Great. They decided girls should be taughtsewing, crocheting and embroidery, dancing and music, and horse riding if they were lucky.”
“Don’t forget mastering French,” she said flatly.
“Ah, French, the language of romance, because English is toogauche,” Cassian chuckled softly, lifting his hand to rub the back of his neck.
The memory of his hand on hers, the heat between them, a connection she did not understand, rushed through her mind, and she watched him.
Something fluttered in her chest.
Is this what people felt when they were attracted to someone? Was that it, the beginnings of love, or lust?
Cecilia pulled her pelisse tighter around her. The bush rustled again, and she turned just as a small furball began crawling outfrom under the bush. When it came to her boot and gazed up at her with large green eyes, Cecilia felt her heart melt.
