When she regained her senses, she gazed up at Edward, and for once, his expression was unguarded. In his gleaming gaze, she saw something she had never thought to uncover—tender emotion.
Butshecould only feel crippling shame. This was not right. She should not be doing this with him.
“Let me go!” She strove to free her wrists from where they were shackled above her head as panic set in. Alice couldn’t believe she had let him draw her into this sinful act and was desperate to get out of it.
His gaze closed off as if a steel wall was slammed between his emotions and his pupils. Edward stepped back, “There is nothing holding you here.”
Frenetically, she put her clothes to right and dashed to the door, only for Edwards parting words to fall over her and haunt her for the rest of the night.
“When you decide to accept your emotions, you know where to find me.”
CHAPTER 13
It took Alice ten full minutes—and a calming turn in the cool gardens— before she returned to the ballroom with the maid the butler had arranged for her in tow. Edward was absent, to her relief.
Penelope was on the dance floor, twirling with Lord Rutledge; and the meeting moments ago replayed in her mind. This was all she had wanted, but she was not so sure that Penelope would appreciate how all this had come to be.
I do not need to tell her. All she needs to know is that I followed through on my promise.
The unbridled happiness on Penelope’s face eased her worry, but when she spotted Benedict chatting carefree with two men over the side, with a glass of champagne in hand, guilt wrenched at her belly—if it wasn’t already so knotted, she might be sick.
How could I do that to him? With his brother no less!
Dear god, how could she look Benedict in the eye now? Troubled, she went to the seating area and folded her hands on her lap while watching Penelope.
For once, the fear that had painted her sister’s face was now gone, and even with the turmoil wreaking havoc in her head, the one calm in the storm was that at least she had done right by Penelope.
What about you, what do you want?
She watched the two dance, and only then did she realize how many were staring and whispering behind their fans.
Beside her, she heard a woman say, “That’s the second time they have danced.”
“You know what they say,” another lady replied. “Onceis interest,twiceis declaration… Who is she though? I have never seen her face before.”
“I hope she knows she is marrying the worst rakehell in London,” the first lady tittered. “At least she will be doing the rest of our girls a service by keeping his grubby fingers away from them.”
Alice felt her heart stutter; in making this right, had she somehow worsened the situation? Even so, if Penelope was increasing with his child, it would only save her face goingforward. If she were to marry again, at least she would be an honorable divorcée and not a disgraced strumpet.
It will be all right. It must be.
“You were missing for a while,” Benedict’s voice made her jump, and for a moment, she couldn’t look at him out of utter shame.
Taking a moment to breathe, she forced a smile. “I felt a bit stifled, my lord. I went outside for a moment to get some air.”
His brows danced, “If it was any other lady than you, I would have asked if you were entertaining another man.”
Her stomach plummeted to her feet, and for a moment, utter,sheerpanic blasted through her at the fear that he might have seen or been told that she had gone to see his brother moments ago. Her mouth dropped as fear temporarily rendered her speechless.
Benedict thought, then interpreted her expression as something else. His face fell. “I did not mean to make you aghast, Alice. I apologize. That was certainly not my intention. I was simply jesting, but I realize now the joke had taken a wrong turn.”
Able to breathe again, Alice said, “You had me for a minute there.”
“Edward always said that my tact is lacking,” he grimaced apologetically. “That was cruel of me. I am sorry.”
Glancing at her lap, Alice wondered if it was the best time to start a conversation she and Benedict had not had to date—the one where they were heading with the frequent meetups.
“Benedict,” she hesitated. “Are you… arewecourting?”
