Amelia exhaled deeply, then shook her head to dispel the thoughts. She swung her legs over the bed’s edge, sweeping her hair over one shoulder in the hopes that it might relieve some of the warmth. Barefoot, she padded over to the balcony doors and opened them, ushering in a gust of fresh air. Moonlight cascaded into the chamber, bathing her skin in its cold, silvery hue.
She was about to step out onto the balcony when the unopened letter on her vanity caught her eye.
Amelia felt a pinch of guilt settle on top of everything else when she realized she had neglected reading her sister’s letter all day. She’d planned on reading the letter after breakfast but the day’sevents, from the unknown grave to Gideon’s abrupt exit from the dining room, had eclipsed all her other thoughts.
The one person she had been doing all of this for had now become a tragic afterthought to Amelia’s new and comfortable life.
“What is becoming of me...”
Amelia swept over to her vanity. This time, with the letter in hand, she stepped onto the balcony, the cool breeze a balm against her skin. For a moment, she simply reveled in the chilly night air. A refreshing peace to her every concern.
Then, carefully, she unsealed the envelope and unfolded the letter, turning her back to the moon to read it better.
My dearest Amelia,
I write in haste, praying this message reaches you in time.
The opening line sent a chill through her.
The rest of the letter was speckled with stains of dried tears. Amelia’s heart began to pound in her ears and she kept on reading with trembling fingers, horror swarming her stomach like a host of worms. Dorothy’s message was dark, devoid of its usual warmth.
I shall write as much as I can fit on this paper and no more. The Earl has discovered our letters. His wrath was merciless. My body aches as I write these words, but my fear for your life is greater. He has forbidden me to write. I cannot defy him openly anymore.
We are to move. The location is unknown. He claims it is because he is severing ties with the Largely Docks, but I suspect it is to keep us isolated now that he has learned of the letters. The move is imminent. Plans are already underway. We could depart any day, any moment. You must cancel your visit. It is no longer safe.
If any letter arrives from you after this, claiming circumstances have changed or that I am out of harm’s way, ignore it. It may be a ploy from him to reach you. Stay close to Uncle and Aunt Egerton in the meantime as I do not know what he intends on doing now that he has learned of the truth.
He no longer trusts the staff. Nor my maid. She leaves tomorrow, under his watchful gaze. She promised to carry this letter, risking much. For us, she is a fleeting ally. So please, do not write back. It may lead him to you.
Live your life, Amelia. I beg of you, find happiness amidst this turmoil. I will endure as I have over the last years.
But mostly, dear sister. Remember me as I was, not as I am.
Amelia’s eyes filled with tears as she read Dorothy’s last words, squeezed in at the bottom of the paper.
Be well, Amelia. Survive. For both our sakes.
Despair draped over her shoulders like a heavy cloak. And it weakened her legs as she fell to a hunch. The finality in Dorothy's words invoked a different kind of chill through her bones. This couldn’t be the end, no, she could not accept that. There might have been at most a week remaining before she could gain access to her inheritance, but at this rate, it might be too late to save her sister.
Bile crept up her throat. “Oh God, what have I done.”
She was going to purge last evening’s contents. There was no telling what the Earl of Talley would do if Amelia did not heed her sister’s words and sent a letter anyway. She could not risk putting Dorothy in any more danger.
Except, her sister was already in danger. The peril Dorothy faced gnawed at Amelia’s conscience. How could she sit by and do nothing? Say nothing? She felt powerless again, just as she had done as a little girl, a silent witness to her family’s unraveling.
No. Not anymore.
Drawing a quivering breath, Amelia dragged herself to a stand, drying her tears. Despair was not an option. Despite Dorothy’s pleas, Amelia could not sit by and do nothing. She hadn’t come this far to give up at the final stretch.
Even if it might mean leaving Gideon and her newfound happiness behind.
The thought was enough to tear through her all over again. She couldn’t. Now that she understood her heart, now that she was learning what she felt for him, Amelia didn’t think she possessed the strength to walk away from him. Abandoning her husband and annulling the marriage had seemed so perfect a strategy just a short while ago. But now the very thought felt as if a hand was reaching into her chest and crushing her heart in its visceral grip. She couldn’t breathe.
She loved Gideon. Amelia didn’t know when she had come to realize it but there was no denying it now. Her husband, once a means to an end, had rooted himself firmly in her heart. His anguish had become her own; his joy had become her own.
Amelia didn’t know if she could bring herself to leave. She didn’t want to.
Perhaps he thinks the same. Despite the tension between us now, surely he feels some way for me, even if it is not love?
