He found Smith and gave him instructions, and when the carriage was ready, he returned to find Natalie ready to leave. She looked tired, and he quickly reprimanded himself for noticing such. Keeping his tone even so she would not question him, he led her out of the manor and helped her into the carriage.
Natalie was a clever woman, and his cold cordiality did not escape her, because when their eyes met, he saw the question in them. He wanted her to leave so he could gather his thoughts and understand what he had seen.
"Are you all right, Jasper?" she asked.
“Yes, I am,” he responded, his voice sounding unnatural and distant. He could not help it. She regarded him with some skepticism in her eyes before adjusting her cloak.
“Good night then,” she murmured.
“Yes.” Jasper closed the carriage door and gave Smith a nod.
Then, he stared at it as it pulled away, anger and hurt snaking ruthless tentacles around his heart and squeezing until he bled.
He had been the greatest of fools to so recklessly give Natalie his trust. He walked back into the manor and went straight to his study, locking the door. He needed to be alone, and because he did not know how long he would require, he decided to have the door locked.
His jaw tightened as he sat behind his desk, and with a groan so pained it did not sound human, he swept everything that sat atop his desk with his arm, cursing. Papers, ink, figurines, they all fell to the floor in disarray; quite like his battered heart and shattered hopes.
Jasper's heart was still in pieces the following evening, and he was having great difficulty fathoming the last item he had read on Natalie's list.
Why had she been out to destroy his reputation? What did he ever do to her to deserve such?
Contemplating this was painful enough that he could not imagine what the answer would do to him. Yet the questions continued to choke him. Had everything between them meant very little to her? Had it all been an act from the beginning?
An act I was foolish enough to give my heart and soul to,he thought bitterly, refilling his tumbler with unsteady hands and spilling some of the liquor on his desk. He blinked at it, his vision terribly unfocused, but he did not care. Nothing mattered anymore. Not after he had lost the one thing that meant everything to him: Natalie.
A knock came at his study door, and Jasper did not trouble himself to respond. He had spent the entire day here. “Jasper?” Phoebe called. This must be the fifth time she was coming to knock on the door and call his name. Or was it the sixth? “Please open this door. I need to speak with you.”
“There is nothing to say, Auntie!” he slurred. “I am well.”
Phoebe shook the door, and when the sound annoyed him, he shot to his feet, grasping the back of his chair to steady himself when he swayed. He staggered to the door to unlock it, but not before he had fumbled with the lock for what felt like an entire minute.
His aunt clapped a hand over her mouth when she saw him, her eyes looking stricken. “What happened to you? You have been locked up in here for more than a day, Jasper.” She stepped into the room while he staggered to sit in his chair by the fire. “You refuse to talk, you refuse to eat," she went on, and he could hear the concern and fear in her voice, and it caused him to wince.
When he did not respond, Phoebe dragged an ottoman and sat in front of him, touching his forearm. "Jasper, tell me what is wrong with you.Talkto me. Please," she implored, taking his free hand and clutching it tightly.
"Why does trust carry so much, Auntie?" he asked at length, not quite recognizing his voice. He had given Natalie his heart, and with it, his trust. That thought had been scraping his insides all day, and it continued to torment him.
Phoebe's frown deepened in confusion and concern. "Is this about Natalie? Was she the woman you had over last night?" On seeing the question in his eyes, she added, "Yes, the servants spoke of seeing a woman in the house, but no one knows who she is."
Jasper did not respond to his aunt's question, for he had nothing to say. Or rather, he did not know how to say it. He did not know how to share his broken heart.
"You love her, do you not?" Phoebe continued when his silence grew.
"It does not matter,” his voice came at last.
"Oh, but it does. More than anything," she countered. "One cannot be without their heart. Whatever the situation, do not give up on yours, Jasper. Please." She squeezed his hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back.
He had not been sure whether he ever truly had that heart in the beginning, but whatever game Natalie had played, it was revealed to him now that he did possess a heart. Phoebe left him when he did not say anything, and an hour later, he dragged himself out of his study to visit Oliver.
He had a bath and dressed, then he rode to Westminster city to his friend’s house. Oliver knew that something was wrong the moment he saw him. “What happened to you?” he asked.
"Fancy a boxing bout?" Jasper asked instead of answering.
Oliver nodded, and they walked into his game room which had enough space to spar. They took off their coats and began. Jasper noticed that his friend’s aggression matched his, almost as if he was attempting to release his frustrations too.
After a few more moments of being in a deadlock, Jasper delivered a powerful punch that Oliver was barely able to defend. He staggered backward and nearly lost his balance.
"Bloody hell! If I did not know you very well, I would say that you have some sort of grievance with me, Jasper," Oliver panted. “I cannot recall ever seeing you like this. Is it a woman?"
