She rolled her eyes. “I don’t get it. He was cheating on me. How could he be upset over me kicking him out? He had someone else to fall back on. I’m home alone eating ice cream out of the container three nights a week.”
It was down to once now, but for the first week, Ben and Jerry had been her two new best friends.
She’d kicked them out when her belly hurt.
There was truth to too much of a good thing.
“Men are idiots,” Gale said. “He’s not bothering you, is he?”
It wouldn’t hurt to tell her friend what was going on. “The first few weeks I got a lot of calls and voicemails. Texts too. I had the locks changed because he came in one day when I was gone and rearranged stuff on me.”
“What? Why would he do that?”
“Because he knew it’d annoy me.” She didn’t want to admit what she’d done to him. She felt justified with it all being so fresh in her mind with the pain he’d caused.
“What a dick,” Gale said.
“I guess I deserved it. I was petty when I packed up his stuff. He hated all my art supplies.”
“I would have dumped glitter in his shit,” Gale said.
She burst out laughing. “Yep. Did that. Only in a few boxes.”
Gale was roaring with laughter. “Good for you.”
“I did a few more things. Nothing I thought was major. Guess he thought they were because after my interview with your brother, I came home to a dead fish by my front door covered in flies.”
“That’s nasty,” Gale said. “And we know you hate bugs and flies.”
“Yep. That’s why he did it. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to clean it myself. My neighbor took care of it.”
“He admitted it to you?” Gale asked.
“He did. He was mad that he finally figured out I stitched several of his pants tight in the crotch. I mean, he was sending altered dick pics, why not give him a confidence boost that he might grow?”
“Oh God,” Gale said. Her friend was laughing so hard, she could almost see her bent over with it. “That’s kind of brilliant, in a way.”
“There you go. I suppose I had it coming. I hope it’s over now. It’s been over six weeks.”
“For your sake I hope it is too. You’ve done nothing since the day you kicked him out?”
“Nope. I’ve wiped my hands of him. Everything he’s done has been after. The calls, texts, voicemails, coming into the house, then the fish. Oh, my flowers before that. Not sure why he won’t let it go, but since he discovered that with his pants, maybe he’s had his fill of it.”
“If he hasn’t, let me know. You should take action against him.”
She sighed. “It’s not what I want to do. As I said, I started it doing that when I kicked him out.”
“Meri, you were hurt and blindsided.” You did what a lot of women do. Hell, you packed his stuff up and I might have just tossed it all on the lawn and told him to figure it out on his own.”
“I wanted to, but then you know, the glitter wouldn’t have stayed as well as it did in the box.”
Gale laughed again. “There you go. Oh, I’ve got another call coming in.”
“I’ve got work to get done anyway. I’ll talk to you later.”
She hung up with Gale and returned to planning other people’s happy ever after.
Who couldshe be talking to?
