Vinny walks me inside my building and to my door. As always, he stands waiting for me to be inside before he turns to leave.
“Vin.” I stop him, toying with the door handle as I try and articulate my words in a way that will make sense.
He turns in question.
My eyes prickle and I grit my teeth. “Did you ever… do you think Mason…” I frown, my throat growing tight. I can’t even say it.
“Do I think Mason cheated on you?” He steps closer, showing me the no nonsense side of him that I don’t always get.
I nod, heat rising in my gut.
“No, Nina. No, I don’t.” I close my eyes as pain slices through me. “Get to bed, love. Tomorrow is a new day.”
He squeezes my shoulder, giving me a warm smile before leaving.
The apartment door shuts behind me with a thwack and I’m instantly crippled by the silence that greets me. Not even the ticking of a clock can be heard. No leaky tap, no heater whirling, just silence.
I go through the motions, locking up then getting myself a glass of water and going to my bedroom. My eyes flick to Ellis’s cot and then to my empty bed, and I can’t help but think of Mason and Ellis at the penthouse. Where does he sleep? Does he sleep inourbed?
I clean my teeth and undress, then crawl under the covers, pulling them tight around my chin.
I always wondered about the photos. The way they were left at reception, and the fact the boys couldn’t find Mason that night.
I’m not stupid and something always told me it was odd how the night unfolded. But once you see something that can hurt you so deeply, a physical copy of something placed in your hand that sears itself into your mind… I think I always knew Mason was set up, but I never thought I could get over the fact he’d had his lips on another woman. It will always be too much to think about. I just don’t know how to be okay in this world alone anymore.
Throwing back my covers, I pull on my leggings and hoodie and take off out of my bedroom.
No matter how strong I want to be sometimes, loneliness wins.
I jog down the street to Joey’s building, my heart feeling heavier than it has in months as it pounds in my chest. Flipping through my key chain, I find the right one and unlock the door.
“Joe.” I shake his shoulder once in his bedroom. “Joe.”
“Hmmm,” he muses.
“Joe.”
“Nina?” He sits up, blinking at me until he can focus. “What’s up?”
“I just…” I pause, looking around the room as if it holds all the answers.
He pulls back the covers and climbs on top, creating a barrier. “Here.”
I slide under, putting my back to his front. He wraps me in his arms, but I don’t sleep. Joey isn’t my home, and I destroyed mine over something that might not have been true.
Mase
My head is heavy when I wake. Ellis is still sleeping soundly in his cot, so I go to the kitchen and make myself a coffee, taking his monitor with me. I couldn’t sleep lastnight. Nina sat on my office floor crying, haunted me till the early hours.
Why was she crying?
I knew seeing her after all this time would bring back feelings from before and it has, but I also feel angrier than ever. I came to terms with the fact that she would never come back to me the minute I left the hospital, and I didn’t want her back. Too many people have left me in my life. Too many important people. I can’t give her any more chances to fuck me up.
At first, I tried to shut Scar and the boys out, finding it easier to keep my distance and turn my feelings off.
You can’t hurt if you don’t feel.
Scarlet pulled my ass in line when I was at my lowest and thank fuck she did. Ellis didn’t need a deadbeat dad. I cleaned up my shit, stopped the drinking and meaningless fucking I’d been hiding behind, and made sure I was there for his birth and the days that followed.
