I need a couple days
I blow out a breath, understanding he needs space but needing to see him, hug him and know that he’s going to be okay.
Call me!Whenever you need me.
My hands run through my hair as I fall back on his sofa, my heart breaking for him. He has lost his brother. All his living relatives are gone. How does anyone deal with that?
Sometimes I wonder if life would be easier if we didn’t allow people into our hearts. It would keep it safe from the heartbreak that quakes us when they eventually leave, because they do. One way or another, they always leave.
The truth is, we only hurt when we truly care about something. It’s a bittersweet thing. It’s brave. Loving something so much you let it consume you, knowing one day it might break you, leaving you a little less whole, but full of memories that will last a lifetime.
God, I hope he’s okay.
Lowerwick Estate on any day is the vision of breathtaking tranquillity. But today as I look out over the grounds from my spot on the bedroom balcony, I wonder to myself if I have ever seen such beauty.
“Scar, you really outdid yourself. It’s perfect,” I tell her, smoothing my hand over the railing before sipping my champagne.
Scarlet slips up next to me, grinning wide as she looks over the grounds which are lit up with the lanterns and candles. “You really think so?”
I dip my head, smiling at her.
“I did good, didn’t I,” she confirms.
The sun decided to shine down on the estate forthe entirety of the day, the marquee was able to dry out along with the grass, and with the team that Scarlet hired to set everything up, we were done just before two o’clock. Ellis should be arriving with Maggie and John any time now. They offered to have him so Mason could get himself ready and over to the Montgomery’s with the rest of the boys.
I haven’t seen Mason since Wednesday. Elliot dropped Ellis home on Thursday, because Mason had to go into the office, and when he didn’t call or text, I took it that he needed the space.
Having not heard from him means I have no idea how he’s feeling, or if he’s even going to show up. I contemplated texting him earlier, but am I really the one he would want to hear from when he is probably already in his own head about coming out here?
“Have you heard from Mason?” I ask Scarlet, hoping she can shed some light on the situation.
“No.” She purses her lips, grasping the railing and letting her perfectly curled lavender hair flow down her back. She tips her head to the sky. “Not even a text.”
Scarlet has worked tirelessly on this night, but I know despite her tone, that she holds a level of understanding for her brother. Scarlet is forgiving. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but I know it makes her the person she is, and she is the best kind to have in your life.
“There’s Mummy!” Lucy sings, carrying Ellis out onto the balcony. “And Auntie Scar.” She passes off Ellis to me and I place him on my hip. “There’s a guy downstairs, says he has a fifty-kilo block of cheese?”
Scarlet’s face instantlydrops.
“What?” I laugh. “Why so much? The pantry is full of everything we need.”
“Oh my god,” Scarlet deadpans, scurrying out of the room and leaving us none the wiser on the balcony.
“You need to get changed,” Lucy tells me, standing in her robe just like me.
“We have time. Tell me about Miller. What happened?”
Her frown is defensive, and I’m not certain I’m going to get the truth. “What do you mean, what happened?”
“Luce, you said you were done.”
“I know.” She palms her forehead but pulls her hand away when she remembers her makeup. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, Nina.”
When she doesn’t elaborate, I say, “It’s not about what you’re supposed to do, Luce, you do what you want, what feels right.”
“Nothing feels right. Nothing! Not my job, not my relationship.” She throws her hands out to her sides at a loss. “I was always the one with a plan. I wanted kids young.” She picks up Ellis’s hand. “And that’s not going to happen now. What if I don’t meet someone before I’m thirty?”
“So, your plan is to what… force a relationship with someone you don’t love?”
