“Oh, Nina, that’s not you.”
“What?”
“Babe, you’ve known this man a week. You’re attached already, look at you. You could never have no-strings-attached sex. It’s why you’ve broken so many hearts over the years,” she explains, pulling me into a hug.
“He compared me to my mum. Told me the apple didn’t fall far from the tree,” I mumble into her neck.
She tuts, shaking her head. “God, Nina, he really is a dick.” She sighs. “But...”
“But?” I question, not liking that but at all.
“It’s not you. You’re not your mother, and he shouldn’t have said that.But. You painted the picture for him. He just hung it to dry.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“I am.” She squeezes me tight. “I promise you I am, just don’t go writing him off just yet, okay?” She fingers the bangle on my wrist. “Is this Cartier?”
I roll my eyes. “I have no idea.”
“As your best friend, it’s my job to step in and tell you when you don’t see situations in their true light, yet you’ve always made it so easy for me. You have a good head on your shoulders, and you always make the right decision. I envy your balls, babe. Trust your judgement, and don’t ever feel bad for letting your guard down.”
“You think I should give things a go with him?”
Does Mason even want to give things a go?
“It doesn’t matter what I think. You’ll do you anyway.”
Lucy drops me home just after six, and I trudge up my steps feeling exhausted from the lack of sleep last night. I need sleep, and more importantly, to refocus myself on the week ahead. The showcase is coming up, and I intend to smash it with my girls.
Inside my apartment, I strip down and shower, then pull on the comfiest clothes I can find. I’m sitting on my sofa no more than twenty minutes later, eating a bowl of Coco Popswhen my phone rings. My mother’s name has my spoon falling into the chocolatey milk.
Why is she calling so soon? It’s been what—a week?
Every emotion I’ve been suppressing all day seems to come bubbling to the surface, and Mason’s interrogation as to why I pay my mum is at the forefront.
I have no answer as to why and as my phone continues to vibrate across my coffee table, I rage at myself, at my inability to let her go or to let anyone else in. Lucy is right, I could never hack no strings attached sex, and it’s all my mother’s fault.
I launch my phone at the wall watching it flash once more before the screen dies.
Mase
Selfish, that’s what I am. She doesn’t want to see me, but I need to see her.
I shouldn’t have left Scarlet alone on Friday night, and maybe my father wouldn’t have gotten so poorly if I’d stayed, but Lowerwick brings back too many bad memories for me. Every time I walk through the door, I think of my mother. Her open arms as I’d run for her, the smell of cookies baking in the oven, and the music she would play us.
Four years. It’s all I had, yet the memories are vivid, every single one right up to the day she died.
How Scarlet continues to stay there baffles me. As I said, I’m selfish.
I park the Bentley at the curb and make my way to Nina’s building, taking her steps two at a time, not bothering to think past the need to see her, to hold her.
She pulls open the door after letting me up, her eyes red and blotchy.Shit. Was that because of me?Her shoulders drop when she sees it’s me, and I worry she will push me away.
She steps into me, her arms wrapping around my waist as her head nestles into my chest. Her body visibly relaxes, growing heavier in my arms. The weight of the world settling between us.
I drop my nose to her hair, breathing her in.
Unexplainable calmness. It seeps into me, a deep sense of belonging only she seems to bring. She pulls me into her apartment, bypassing the tiny living space and walking me through to a small double bedroom. She climbs on the bed, pulling me with her, her head dipping under my arm when I lift it so she can lay herself across my chest. And just like that, with not a single word spoken, we take from each other. Healing the parts we aren’t ready to bare.
