“No. But do it anyway.” I screw up my face and hide my head in his chest. He turns, putting his back to the sea, and then we are free-falling. I hear the slap on his back, and then I am submerged in cold water.
The temperature shocks me, and I fight to reach the surface.
Mason grabs onto me, and I cling to him, wrapping myself around him like a koala. “Oh my god! That was incredible!”
He beams at me with his megawatt smile, and it’s the most honest smile I’ve seen from him in weeks.
I lean in to kiss him, grinning back against his lips.
“What?” he asks in wonder.
“Seeing you happy makes me happy,” I tell him, not being able to take my eyes off him.
He shakes his head, fanning his hair across his face and spraying me with the water droplets and making me giggle.
“I am so fucking happy, angel.”
* * *
I’m sittingon my suitcase trying to get it closed when my phone starts ringing. Looking over at the screen I see that it’s my mum. She hasn’t called in weeks, and I can imagine the only reason she is calling now is for more money.
A smart person wouldn’t answer. I ignored it last time, and she eventually gave up, but in the time that she didn’t call, I found myself a little lost. It was as if she had given up. I’m not sure what on exactly because she only ever called for more money, but it hurt nonetheless. She is my mum, so to see her name flash on the screen now—even if it is for more money—it has hope blooming in my chest.
“Hi, Mum.”
“Nina. I haven’t heard from you in so long.”
My shoulders sag, and I slide from the bed. I never call her. My crappy childhood is on her—she wasn’t there for me, but maybe the way we treat each other now that I’m older is on me too. It’s a two-way street and right now it’s a ghost town.
“Yeah, I have been busy. I have had issues with the studio.”
“Oh, but you are still managing?” she queries.
Do you actually care, though, Mum? “Yeah. Maggie and John have covered a couple of bills this month, and the bank gave me a payment holiday on my loan.”
“I see. Well, I was calling ‘cause I’m a little short this month—” I close my eyes and zone out.
She doesn’t give a crap. I don’t know why I expect anything more from her.
“I’m sure you or your new man can help me out,” she sniggers.
What did she just say? “Excuse me?”
“I heard you have a rich new boyfriend.”
“From who?”
“Can you help me or not?” She sounds so uninterested, bored and calm, too calm.
She sounds high.
I see red.
“Sure, Mum, I will just wire across a couple grand from Mason’s account. He won’t even notice,” I say deadpan, ending the call and tossing my phone.
Why can’t she just be a mother? She doesn’t even have to be a really good one. But right now, she isn’t a bad mum. She is nonexistent. I look down at my stomach as bile rises in my throat.
Oh god.
