“It doesn’t feel like it is to me. I can still feel his breath on my neck. He didn’t… I mean, he didn’t get a chance to do what he planned, but I can still feel his nails digging into my hips…”
Stone didn’t stop to think. He just rolled up his sleeves, bent over the bathtub and scooped up some water before bringing it to her shoulder and letting it run over her skin in tiny rivulets that he hoped could wash away her pain. The water was so hot the skin on his hands burned, but Stone didn’t care. If that was what she needed, he wouldn’t complain.
“Maybe you don’t want to touch me. After everything we’ve been through. What I was responsible for us losing. Who I am now.”
“Michaela.”
“Is it all too much to come back from?” Her eyes lowered to the water. “Maybe I shouldn’t want to come back from it. Maybe we can’t come back from it.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t give up on us. It’s always been you, Mae. In my stubbornness, in my messy way of trying to protect you, I pushed you away. You didn’t deserve that. Not one second of that. I see it so clearly now.”
Mae laughed, but the eerie way it was void of all emotion made Stone’s stomach churn. “It hasn’talwaysbeen me. I haven’t always been your first choice. Things were so good.So fucking good and then you shut me out. I’m scared, Sully.”
“It hasalways been you.Even when I had to push you away. Even when I had to push you away to keep you safe from me. It has been, and it always will be you. There is no one else in the world I want.”
His hand dipped back into the water, but this time he placed his cupped hand just below her collarbone. The water dripped down over her breast and the smallest gasp escaped from between her lips. Stone searched her eyes, afraid he’d overstepped, but all that was there looking at him was fiery desire.
“Mae.”
Her knees fell open as she kept her eyes trained on him. Mae laid her head on the back edge of the tub, her hand sliding down her body and between her legs. Jesus Christ.
“Help me. Take away what they did to me. My touch doesn’t matter. It has to be you.”
He nodded, reaching over her to grab the body wash. The cold gel sat heavy in his palm, until he warmed it between his hands. No way would his girl ever feel cold or alone, or would she have to face the world without him again. There was so much sadness, so much hurt, in her eyes. He wanted to take it all away.
“Sit up, beautiful.” Her bottom lip popped out in a pout. “Just for a minute while I get some soap on you.”
She nodded, moving slowly as she rearranged how she was situated in the tub.
When Mae seemed satisfied with how she was sitting, Stone reached out, covering her shoulders with suds. He worked the lather down her arms, and over her hands. Her body relaxed as the minutes passed, a gently hum of approval vibrating through her chest as he spread the suds there, too.
He moved in gentle, slow, deliberate strokes, making sureto spread the soap all over her exposed skin. Over her neck, down her back, across her chest, under her breasts. His thumb swiped over her taut nipples, and the gentle hum coming from Mae intensified. Her back arched softly off of the tub and she pressed her breast into the palm of his hand.
“You’re so beautiful, Michaela. I know you don’t think you are right now. But God as my witness, you are.”
And then his hand moved lower. Across her belly, down to her hip. Between her legs. His fingers spread her apart, and he brought his thumb to rest on her clit. Stone started rolling circles over the small bud, his eyes raking over her perfect body. But when she went still under his touch, he froze.
“What’s wrong?”
“I need…” She paused and his heart beat painfully in his chest as he waited for her to continue.
“What? Tell me.”
“I need you to keep looking in my eyes. I can’t… I closed…” Her eyes filled with tears, and Stone found himself biting down on the inside of his lip to stop his own tears from falling. “I closed my eyes when he was touching me. I need to know it’s you. I need to see your eyes.”
He nodded, not sure that he could speak beyond the emotions trapped in his throat. Mae reached up out of the water, brushing her warm fingertip across his cheek. Shit. He hadn’t stopped the tears after all.
“I’m so sorry,” his voice broke.
“Just look me in the eyes, Sully. Touch me. Show me I’m safe again with you.”
He nodded, desperately wanting to kiss her, but knowing she needed his eyes to not move more than anything. And he could do that for her.
They stayed connected like that as her breathing became shallow. Until her lips parted, her eyelids fluttered and her body shook under the weight of herrelease.
In bed, they laid together, Stone’s body wrapped around Mae’s back like a protective shield. He let his hand rest on her belly, between her hip bones and her belly button. “I would have loved our baby. I do love them. I wish they were still here, growing big and strong under my hand.”
“I do too,” Mae whispered, turning so her body was facing him.
