Was it the best plan to make an appointment with her doctor knowing she would be going alone during her lunch break? No, probably not. Would Stone be mad that she lied about the timing of it all and he didn’t get the chance to be there for her? She was positive he would be. Doing it on her own just felt right, and she wouldn’t apologize for that. It was just easier to let him think there was an appointment looming in the future.
“I don’t need to talk to anyone, Sully. I’m fine.”
“You’re not. But I’ll let you tell yourself that if that’s what it takes to get that one single, simple concession.”
She stared him down. “WhenI’m ready, I’ll talk with Lily. But it’s not today. I’m not ready for anyone else to know. I don’t know if I’ll ever be, but I know I can’t ask you to not talk to the guys. If you need to process it with them, just ask them to honor the fact that I’ll tell the girls when I’m ready.”
Stone was already nodding before he answered. “I can do that.”
She stood, bending over to press her lips to his shoulder.
“I hope you have a good day today.” His words were amplified by the sincerity pouring off of him in waves.
“I will. Being busy is what I need. I promise. Call down if you need anything.”
“Come home if it’s too much.”
She nodded, but knew that she wouldn’t. Because home, the apartment that had been filled with daydreams about where their baby would sleep and play not even twenty-four hours before, now felt like the graveyard where all her hopes and dreams had gone to die.
“You did a nice job setting up the conference call for Gage,” Nash’s voice startled Mae as she set her mug on the counter in the kitchen, coffee sloshing all over the place. Of course. It was the first time in weeks the smell hadn’t set off her stomach.
Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t you fucking dare cry…
“Oh shit. Sorry. You okay?” Nash reached under the cabinet and ripped off several paper towels before he slid them on the counter top, mopping up the spilled liquid.
“I’m fine. Just distracted today. I should probably get back to my desk. I’ve got that paperwork to look over for The Trident this afternoon. Should have the copies made and back to you by the end of the day.”
“Oh, great. I actually have two more files I need with them, I’ll email them over this afternoon. And I don’t need them back today if you want to duck out early to be with Stone.” His brows furrowed as he watched Mae pour the rest of her coffee down the drain, opting to add hot water from the kettle over a tea bag instead. “I didn’t know you drank tea.”
Shit. She’d only started recently. Ginger tea seemed to be the trick to keep her morning sickness under control. But justlike the coffee had been a treat now that her stomach wasn’t trying to turn itself inside out every chance it got, the tea wasn’t needed anymore to soothe it. Mae hadn’t felt nauseous all day, even skipping out on breakfast. She sniffed, clearing her throat and willing the sharp sting in her eyes to go away.
“Oh, yeah. Just feeling a bit under the weather, that’s all. Tea helps more than coffee. It was probably a good thing I spilled all that.”
“Mae…” No. Don’t look at him. The concern in his voice was a tsunami knocking against the wall she’d erected around her heart. “What’s going on? Is it Doc?”
“No. No, like I said, I’m just coming down with something. I don’t want Stone to catch anything if it’s a cold though. I’m going to pop over to the clinic at lunch and see if Jake can prescribe me something.”
Nash nodded, his knuckles hitting twice on the counter before walking past her to the fridge. “Okay. Let me know when you leave and I’ll take over front desk duties.”
And that’s just what she did. Popping back to Nash’s office an hour later, she gave him a quick nod before turning around and all but running out of Montgomery Defense. Her stomach churned the entire walk to her OB/GYN’s office. She’d been there routinely since moving to Silver Springs. It was a quiet office that looked more like a storybook cottage than anything else. Mae had always admired the magical look, but that afternoon, it felt like all the magic had left.
She went through the motions. Writing her name down on the appointment sign-in sheet. Sitting alone in the hard plastic chair. Hearing her name being called. Getting weighed. Giving a urine sample. Getting her blood drawn. Stripping down into a paper gown. Waiting for the doctor…
Everything else passed through blurry lenses, because as hard as she tried, the tears didn’t stay away. Not when the doctor assured her that ‘these things just happen’. Not whenshe promised Mae could ‘try again’ as soon as the bleeding stopped and she had a normal cycle.
How the hell had she even gotten out onto the sidewalk? Mae looked down in her hand, the appointment reminder for next week’s blood draw to make sure her pregnancy hormone levels were back to baseline… back to no trace of a growing baby… still clutched tightly in between her fingers.
“Just the person I was hoping to see!”
Mae’s head snapped up, heart galloping the second she recognized the voice.
“Is this a bad time?” Laurel looked over Mae’s shoulder, then down to her hand. Mae had been pressing it against her belly. The cramps had started up again as soon as she was moving around more, and she hadn’t been thinking about how it would look coming out of the doctor’s office.Of courseshe would bump into the last person she ever wanted to see when she was feeling so fucking vulnerable.
Mae wished Stone was there. God. Why did she have to push him away? She forced her hand off her belly, but didn’t miss how Laurel locked in on the movement.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” she asked again.
“Anytime would be a bad time for talking to you. Excuse me, you’re blocking the sidewalk and I need to get back to work.”
